Heartbroken Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#heartbroken
heartbroken seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
2 True Love
2 true love
Story of one who found love
2nd time around
She went to school and
Learned for the family
But she grew up….and
He stayed the same..he didn’t know how to change
And couldn’t handle her fame
Lost his high school sweetheart
And was swimming around in his head…
His own head
And into another…
He’s….down at the bottom…
He’s lost his…family…
And he can recover…know it’s outside of me…
And here she comes…. with the face of an Angel
To save his… soul..
A true beauty…a real true beauty…...
Story of one who found love
2nd time around
She went to school and
Learned for the family
But she grew up….and
He stayed the same..he didn’t know how to change
And couldn’t handle her fame
Lost his high school sweetheart
And was swimming around in his head…
His own head
And into another…
He’s….down at the bottom…
He’s lost his…family…
And he can recover…know it’s outside of me…
And here she comes…. with the face of an Angel
To save his… soul..
A true beauty…a real true beauty…...
#bittersweet
#FallingInLove
#happiness
#heartbroken
#romantic
139 reads
0 Comments
What if...
You will be my what if
The question that haunts my mind
Even as the years go by
Ill never leave you behind
The connection we have
Is like nothing Ive ever felt
Or probably will again
But these are the cards Ive been dealt
You will linger in my heart
A dull ache will always remain
Feelings of true peace
That are wrapped up in the pain
We finally found each other
But it seems it was too late
In another life will I find you in time?
Or is this just our fate?
To forever seek our missing...
The question that haunts my mind
Even as the years go by
Ill never leave you behind
The connection we have
Is like nothing Ive ever felt
Or probably will again
But these are the cards Ive been dealt
You will linger in my heart
A dull ache will always remain
Feelings of true peace
That are wrapped up in the pain
We finally found each other
But it seems it was too late
In another life will I find you in time?
Or is this just our fate?
To forever seek our missing...
#heartbroken
#love
#relationships #sadness
#relationships #sadness
192 reads
5 Comments
Extinguished
I let you in
You became my happiness
My reason
You walked away
You took my happiness
My reason
I'm bitter
So were my words
But for a short period of time I was whole
You gave me that
You gave me hope and made me dream again
Now I'm torn between being thankful and angry
And all I could say was fuck you
You became my happiness
My reason
You walked away
You took my happiness
My reason
I'm bitter
So were my words
But for a short period of time I was whole
You gave me that
You gave me hope and made me dream again
Now I'm torn between being thankful and angry
And all I could say was fuck you
#heartbroken
#love
#relationships #sadness
#relationships #sadness
167 reads
2 Comments
We did something awfully wrong
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#heartbroken
#passion
#sadness
#secrets
#UnrequitedLove
97 reads
0 Comments
walls of steel, bands of gold
when you know the hurt is real
but your broken
and numb
to how you feel
now your heart is under seal
surrounded by thick
heavy walls of steel
you know
no matter who they are
they'll never break through
no matter what they say
no matter what they do
you know
your never going to change
you'll never break free
who you are now
is who you will always be
sometimes the chains that bind you
are heavier than you can stand
sometimes the light that blinds you
comes from a golden wedding band
but your broken
and numb
to how you feel
now your heart is under seal
surrounded by thick
heavy walls of steel
you know
no matter who they are
they'll never break through
no matter what they say
no matter what they do
you know
your never going to change
you'll never break free
who you are now
is who you will always be
sometimes the chains that bind you
are heavier than you can stand
sometimes the light that blinds you
comes from a golden wedding band
#despair
#heartbroken
#hurt
108 reads
0 Comments
Water Ritual
it’s just a simple glass of water,
nothing special, not really
I beg for its healing anyway;
I will it to slide down my throat
a wide and roaring tempest,
to wash away the sticky grief
lodged deep within my chest;
to quench my thirst for peace
in these long and dark hours;
to become the hideous monster,
that chases away the weariness
sewn to my bones’ marrow;
to transform the salt and sorrow
that slides in fresh tracks
down cheeks tired of smiling
and pretending it’s all okay
because it has to be
nothing special, not really
I beg for its healing anyway;
I will it to slide down my throat
a wide and roaring tempest,
to wash away the sticky grief
lodged deep within my chest;
to quench my thirst for peace
in these long and dark hours;
to become the hideous monster,
that chases away the weariness
sewn to my bones’ marrow;
to transform the salt and sorrow
that slides in fresh tracks
down cheeks tired of smiling
and pretending it’s all okay
because it has to be
#grief
#heartbroken
209 reads
5 Comments
The Shipwrecked Heart
He had emptied an ocean for her.
No seashells
No gold
Just salt and bones.
No seashells
No gold
Just salt and bones.
#heartbroken
#sea
#unicorns #water
#unicorns #water
178 reads
9 Comments
October Poems 2024 >> mercy drops of rhyme
A poem for each day of the month in which I was born
DAY 18
mercy drops of rhyme
you said you needed me:
i came with haste to save your burning parish;
yet, in our repartee,
i said i needed you, you make me perish.
yet must i still have you,
e’en if you fain must be the enemy:
my dark-place rendezvous
you brighten with concordant disarray.
better a broken dream
that nightmares into fragments a la carte,
or yet a midnight scream,
than continence that grinds our gears apart.
...
DAY 18
mercy drops of rhyme
you said you needed me:
i came with haste to save your burning parish;
yet, in our repartee,
i said i needed you, you make me perish.
yet must i still have you,
e’en if you fain must be the enemy:
my dark-place rendezvous
you brighten with concordant disarray.
better a broken dream
that nightmares into fragments a la carte,
or yet a midnight scream,
than continence that grinds our gears apart.
...
#birthday
#heartbroken
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeCycle
#UnrequitedLove
72 reads
0 Comments
Don't ask me why
Don't ask me why
Why God made me
Don't ask me why
I am a child of God
Don't ask me why
I am a middle class person
Don't ask me why
I made friends with poor people
I don't like the rich people at all
Because they despise the poor people
Why God made me
Don't ask me why
I am a child of God
Don't ask me why
I am a middle class person
Don't ask me why
I made friends with poor people
I don't like the rich people at all
Because they despise the poor people
#bittersweet
#dark
#fear
#heartbroken
#rejection
118 reads
1 Comment
Love...elusive
Love met me
at my heart's doorsteps
She was like a bird
feathered in red
at my heart's doorsteps
She was like a bird
feathered in red
#birds
#emptiness
#heartbroken #love
#heartbroken #love
227 reads
19 Comments
Not The Time
It's easy for some to sit and judge, especially when they are sitting comfortably in life, with no need to have accountability for themselves in the midst of their hypocritical finger pointing.
My mom is dying, and everything is broken, so the last thing I'm gonna tolerate is some asshole telling me I'm failing at life's tests.
I found your deflate button, and now your mouth is hissing. So who actually failed their test again?
It's irresponsible to poke a bear while she is actively becoming a mouse and not expect a lashing of sorts.
Shut your mouth, I'm tired of your...
My mom is dying, and everything is broken, so the last thing I'm gonna tolerate is some asshole telling me I'm failing at life's tests.
I found your deflate button, and now your mouth is hissing. So who actually failed their test again?
It's irresponsible to poke a bear while she is actively becoming a mouse and not expect a lashing of sorts.
Shut your mouth, I'm tired of your...
#anger
#frustration
#grief #heartbroken
#grief #heartbroken
92 reads
4 Comments
Lament of Sister Dearest
Alas! mine heart is wracked with rue, For my fair sister yond I knew. A tender maid, in youth's soft bloom, Hath fled to dwell in yonder tomb.
Oh cruel fates, why thus did snatch The gentle soul I couldst not catch? Her laughter now is but a wraith, Lost to night’s untimely scathe.
O sister sweet, where didst thou stray, When darkness stole thy light away? And bade thee, sore, with tears to drown, To take thy leave, to cast thee down?
Did none but shadows heed thy cry, When thou, alone, didst pine to die? Oh would that I had heard thy call, Ere thou didst from...
Oh cruel fates, why thus did snatch The gentle soul I couldst not catch? Her laughter now is but a wraith, Lost to night’s untimely scathe.
O sister sweet, where didst thou stray, When darkness stole thy light away? And bade thee, sore, with tears to drown, To take thy leave, to cast thee down?
Did none but shadows heed thy cry, When thou, alone, didst pine to die? Oh would that I had heard thy call, Ere thou didst from...
#despair
#emptiness
#grief
#heartbroken
#sadness
102 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Heartbroken Seeking Honest Critique Poems