Dark Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#dark
dark seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
And There I Lay
And there I lay on the ground
In a puddle of blood my body drowned
Echoing thoughts that ricochet
My lifeless body now on display
The smoking gun still in my palm
A fleeting moment of peace and calm
But then suddenly shadows appeared
My peaceful thoughts disappeared
Demonic ravenous vultures biting
My motionless body no longer fighting
Dragging my carcass across the floor
My soul now exiting heavens door
Paying for sins of my haunted past
Dreams of hell now permanently last
Torturing my twisted thoughts still...
In a puddle of blood my body drowned
Echoing thoughts that ricochet
My lifeless body now on display
The smoking gun still in my palm
A fleeting moment of peace and calm
But then suddenly shadows appeared
My peaceful thoughts disappeared
Demonic ravenous vultures biting
My motionless body no longer fighting
Dragging my carcass across the floor
My soul now exiting heavens door
Paying for sins of my haunted past
Dreams of hell now permanently last
Torturing my twisted thoughts still...
#dark
#despair
#emptiness
22 reads
0 Comments
Between These Lines
Let my tears fall between these lines
Because I feel too empty to let them fall down my face
Confidence I had to front cause I never had it
Writing is therapeutic so I used that to cope
I contemplate if happiness can save my soul
Trying to wiggle through this maze to find my worth as a man
My mind backpedaling to the demons I can’t seem to exercise
Middle of the night I wake up to my own cries
I keep running away from my insecurities but they keep catching up to me.
Because I feel too empty to let them fall down my face
Confidence I had to front cause I never had it
Writing is therapeutic so I used that to cope
I contemplate if happiness can save my soul
Trying to wiggle through this maze to find my worth as a man
My mind backpedaling to the demons I can’t seem to exercise
Middle of the night I wake up to my own cries
I keep running away from my insecurities but they keep catching up to me.
#dark
#emptiness
#fear
#sadness
#shame
20 reads
0 Comments
Emancipation From The Sun
In vaulted night where whispers dwell
A fell being, cloaked in shadowed spell
Drew breath of twilight, dark and deep
Amidst the silence that shadows keep
Beneath the gaze of the sun’s harsh eye
Chained by brilliance, yearning to fly
It cried to the moon in tones of despair
“Grant me release, from this radiant snare!”
“Thy golden rays, they scorch and bind
I seek the solace of the night to find
For in the gloam, my spirit can soar
Awake the dreams that darkness bore.”
Echoes of silence where phantoms tread ...
A fell being, cloaked in shadowed spell
Drew breath of twilight, dark and deep
Amidst the silence that shadows keep
Beneath the gaze of the sun’s harsh eye
Chained by brilliance, yearning to fly
It cried to the moon in tones of despair
“Grant me release, from this radiant snare!”
“Thy golden rays, they scorch and bind
I seek the solace of the night to find
For in the gloam, my spirit can soar
Awake the dreams that darkness bore.”
Echoes of silence where phantoms tread ...
#dark
#despair
23 reads
0 Comments
Silent Battles
I don't want to battle with myself today,
with harsh emotions tangled within.
Disappointment in my eyes,
disasters in my mind,
the light at the end of the tunnel always dim.
I don't want to battle with myself today,
my darkness may win.
The echoes of doubt grow louder,
pulling me to a place I've already been.
I’ve wrestled with shadows, fought to stand,
weary day's start to cave.
If I let go, will silence greet me,
or will I drown beneath the waves?
I don't want to battle with myself today, ...
with harsh emotions tangled within.
Disappointment in my eyes,
disasters in my mind,
the light at the end of the tunnel always dim.
I don't want to battle with myself today,
my darkness may win.
The echoes of doubt grow louder,
pulling me to a place I've already been.
I’ve wrestled with shadows, fought to stand,
weary day's start to cave.
If I let go, will silence greet me,
or will I drown beneath the waves?
I don't want to battle with myself today, ...
#dark
#LifeStruggles
51 reads
6 Comments
scatterd
the numbness come oh peaceful day
my mind alters and I remember all I thought I'd forgotteh
the immortal beckons I am needed elsewhere
regretting parts of this life but there is honor in its reality
tenacious collection I've drawn a few to me encounters of chance
fated I made my appointments left an impression
they are left with the same choice comform to eltist ideas of suffer
there is a quiet dignity in that
deliviered here on a beam of light
determined to make a change
other peoples pain, is not a delicacy you devour ...
my mind alters and I remember all I thought I'd forgotteh
the immortal beckons I am needed elsewhere
regretting parts of this life but there is honor in its reality
tenacious collection I've drawn a few to me encounters of chance
fated I made my appointments left an impression
they are left with the same choice comform to eltist ideas of suffer
there is a quiet dignity in that
deliviered here on a beam of light
determined to make a change
other peoples pain, is not a delicacy you devour ...
#dark
#love
45 reads
2 Comments
Cadaver
The white sheet whispers as it's drawn away,
revealing secrets of a life's decay.
Not flesh alone, but spirit laid bare,
for prying eyes, and whispers in the air.
Each question, scalpel-sharp, begins to slice,
not at the skin, but deeper, something dark.
"Why this?" they probe, "and what if that had been?"
A cruel dissection of what might be left of me.
Accusations, like formaldehyde's harsh sting,
preserve the pain, the shame the whispers bring.
"A careless heart," they murmur, heads all...
revealing secrets of a life's decay.
Not flesh alone, but spirit laid bare,
for prying eyes, and whispers in the air.
Each question, scalpel-sharp, begins to slice,
not at the skin, but deeper, something dark.
"Why this?" they probe, "and what if that had been?"
A cruel dissection of what might be left of me.
Accusations, like formaldehyde's harsh sting,
preserve the pain, the shame the whispers bring.
"A careless heart," they murmur, heads all...
#dark
#vulnerability
#weakness
41 reads
2 Comments
No Light
black is black
dark is dark
these days
those days
everyday
no sunshine
black is black
no lights on
all dark
shadows in shadows
can't see
where i'm going
where we're going
no sunshine
no light
it's all dark...
dark is dark
these days
those days
everyday
no sunshine
black is black
no lights on
all dark
shadows in shadows
can't see
where i'm going
where we're going
no sunshine
no light
it's all dark...
#dark
22 reads
0 Comments
Jehovah Skinheads
Skinheads, Jehovah witness
Brainwashed neo-nazi apprentice
Fellowship, kingdom hall
Watchtower penned for all
Swastikas, white supremacy
Fourth Reich and its legacy
Shaved heads, military clothes
Sieg Heil, neo nazi oaths
Extremism, skinhead subculture
Couldn't erase their exposure
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
Police called at least five times
Murdered family, violent crimes
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
...
Brainwashed neo-nazi apprentice
Fellowship, kingdom hall
Watchtower penned for all
Swastikas, white supremacy
Fourth Reich and its legacy
Shaved heads, military clothes
Sieg Heil, neo nazi oaths
Extremism, skinhead subculture
Couldn't erase their exposure
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
Police called at least five times
Murdered family, violent crimes
Health issues, maybe mental
Drug abuse experimental
...
#dark
#emptiness
48 reads
4 Comments
proper ettiquette, will see
Jezabelle winks a formidabel woman
she was Sampsons down fall
he was warned not to cut his hair
God was sorely disappointed, He lost a warrior that day
Sampson heed that of a woman over him
magic incantation in the color of rainbow
representing all spectrums humming on their own wavelenth
it's a ancient magic created before the sun open his eyes
it is the language of the soul
my thoughts are chided
why do you not do the rituals of the ancients
or write things down
utterking I don't...
she was Sampsons down fall
he was warned not to cut his hair
God was sorely disappointed, He lost a warrior that day
Sampson heed that of a woman over him
magic incantation in the color of rainbow
representing all spectrums humming on their own wavelenth
it's a ancient magic created before the sun open his eyes
it is the language of the soul
my thoughts are chided
why do you not do the rituals of the ancients
or write things down
utterking I don't...
#dark
#magic
#spiritual
69 reads
2 Comments
pious
in deepness wept, with much misunderstanding
the darkness beckon
and I used it as a mere weapon
not understanding, its intent
the world is not as it seems we have ancient texts by which we follow
and are thusly enslaved
by means there are civilations old, who follow different sects of thinking
working in the background here
I choose to believe there are still cracks by which the abyss is seen
by the very words it hangs us on it show its fangs
who am I to judge, no one
but opinions are formed
and reactions are noted ...
the darkness beckon
and I used it as a mere weapon
not understanding, its intent
the world is not as it seems we have ancient texts by which we follow
and are thusly enslaved
by means there are civilations old, who follow different sects of thinking
working in the background here
I choose to believe there are still cracks by which the abyss is seen
by the very words it hangs us on it show its fangs
who am I to judge, no one
but opinions are formed
and reactions are noted ...
#aliens
#dark
50 reads
2 Comments
betwixt
echoing darkness I saunter
delicious decadence in need of a counter
salacious needs an encounter
intrepid caution is damned
withdrawing all notion
seeking on the winds
seeing is believing
I am what I hate, a witch
betwixt two worlds, I am enslaved
to serve the lusts of a master
fully in love with my magics
touching me to create
my anger brings the swiftness of fire
sire of the needful rage
exacting revenge
insidious desire doesn't allow me to break free
this wheel of fate spins ...
delicious decadence in need of a counter
salacious needs an encounter
intrepid caution is damned
withdrawing all notion
seeking on the winds
seeing is believing
I am what I hate, a witch
betwixt two worlds, I am enslaved
to serve the lusts of a master
fully in love with my magics
touching me to create
my anger brings the swiftness of fire
sire of the needful rage
exacting revenge
insidious desire doesn't allow me to break free
this wheel of fate spins ...
#dark
#love
#lust
70 reads
7 Comments
Raven's Despair (Revised)
There was the crush,
and then the rush,
hard stipple of a brush,
not worn of the dashes.
I have autism,
but of no pretenses,
I see blood tipped greens,
those you call weeds
A palace was built,
The homeless guilt,
I love your sparkling eyes
Closed book to fairy cries
A cave we explored,
every treat in disguise
and I wanted some more
as your body would lay.
Memories sometimes
captivated our...
and then the rush,
hard stipple of a brush,
not worn of the dashes.
I have autism,
but of no pretenses,
I see blood tipped greens,
those you call weeds
A palace was built,
The homeless guilt,
I love your sparkling eyes
Closed book to fairy cries
A cave we explored,
every treat in disguise
and I wanted some more
as your body would lay.
Memories sometimes
captivated our...
#dark
#obsession
#UnrequitedLove
49 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Dark Seeking Honest Critique Poems