Short Story Seeking Honest Critique
#ShortStory
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
2nd Jan 2025 11:02pm
2nd Jan 2025 11:02pm
Unstable
The board review came to a decision
They found him sane
One doctor felt otherwise
The doctor knew that he fooled the board and staff
The doctor pleaded with the medical board
They saw nothing wrong
The ex girlfriend was always afraid of him
He went psycho on her a few times
For no apparent reason
She would have liked to do normal things couples would do
Instead, she had to worry when something so small and minute would agitate him
He didn't like that she was talking to her brother
He thought her & her brother were secretly in...
They found him sane
One doctor felt otherwise
The doctor knew that he fooled the board and staff
The doctor pleaded with the medical board
They saw nothing wrong
The ex girlfriend was always afraid of him
He went psycho on her a few times
For no apparent reason
She would have liked to do normal things couples would do
Instead, she had to worry when something so small and minute would agitate him
He didn't like that she was talking to her brother
He thought her & her brother were secretly in...
#fiction
#girlfriend
#MentalHealth
#murder
#ShortStory
107 reads
10 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
2nd Jan 2025 10:55pm
2nd Jan 2025 10:55pm
The Horny Clown, that lives two doors down
#dirty
#family
#orgasm
#sex
#ShortStory
131 reads
9 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
21st Dec 2024 8:29pm
21st Dec 2024 8:29pm
A Shrunken Head For Xmas
If you want to add spice to your living room decor,
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
#home
#inspirational
#LifeChangingMoment
#motivational
#ShortStory
115 reads
16 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
21st Dec 2024 11:55am
21st Dec 2024 11:55am
Riding the current
There's no night like tonight
They're all different
I went out there
I could taste the air
The power lines buzzing
I became part of the current
Like I knew exactly what was supposed to happen
So when the pig ran the stop sign and nearly ran my ass over,
my heart didn't skip once
I watch the man across the street watch me
He's plugged in too
We're both riding the current
It's not paranoia
It's just being on
Connected by the eyes
The eyes flash like knives
In the 7-11
I watch the man behind the counter ...
They're all different
I went out there
I could taste the air
The power lines buzzing
I became part of the current
Like I knew exactly what was supposed to happen
So when the pig ran the stop sign and nearly ran my ass over,
my heart didn't skip once
I watch the man across the street watch me
He's plugged in too
We're both riding the current
It's not paranoia
It's just being on
Connected by the eyes
The eyes flash like knives
In the 7-11
I watch the man behind the counter ...
#city
#LifeStruggles
#night
#ShortStory
#TruthOfLife
97 reads
6 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
19th Dec 2024 3:06pm
19th Dec 2024 3:06pm
Santa Claus Did It
a Christmas detective story
Lord Sixtus Runcorn had been murdered with an axe, by Santa Claus. Lady Runcorn had seen it through the window of the library while she was walking the primrose path about the house and promptly screamed the estate to a standstill. A doctor was on hand to administer a sedative and she was now sleeping in her chambers, attended by a close friend.
Inspector Frodsham gathered everyone in the drawing room. It was a tradition among the Runcorns of Arrowfield to retire early on Christmas Eve, so the suspects were dressed in pyjamas and robes,...
Lord Sixtus Runcorn had been murdered with an axe, by Santa Claus. Lady Runcorn had seen it through the window of the library while she was walking the primrose path about the house and promptly screamed the estate to a standstill. A doctor was on hand to administer a sedative and she was now sleeping in her chambers, attended by a close friend.
Inspector Frodsham gathered everyone in the drawing room. It was a tradition among the Runcorns of Arrowfield to retire early on Christmas Eve, so the suspects were dressed in pyjamas and robes,...
#Christmas
#murder
#mystery #ShortStory
#mystery #ShortStory
68 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
18th Dec 2024 11:02am
18th Dec 2024 11:02am
He wants your attention
Little boy left for hardly 10 minutes
The sitter had gone to the store for some cigarettes and soda
When she returned she saw the fire engines in front of the house
She saw the smoke & flames
She found out that the little boy she was babysitting had lit his little brother's crib on fire
The baby was burned to death
He used the matches she had left on the table
He had heard that the only child gets more attention from the parents
With more love & extra dessert
He was only looking out for number one
The sitter had gone to the store for some cigarettes and soda
When she returned she saw the fire engines in front of the house
She saw the smoke & flames
She found out that the little boy she was babysitting had lit his little brother's crib on fire
The baby was burned to death
He used the matches she had left on the table
He had heard that the only child gets more attention from the parents
With more love & extra dessert
He was only looking out for number one
#children
#family
#fire
#ignorance
#ShortStory
89 reads
8 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Dec 2024 8:45pm
9th Dec 2024 8:45pm
Got Beer?
In 2010 Lance Lyde threw a giant party to mark his tenth anniversary as a master brewer. In the middle of the celebration, Lyde took a dive into a giant vat of beer. Friends and relatives at the party were unable to pull him out. He drowned in his own brew.
#alcohol
#fiction
#ignorance
#satirical
#ShortStory
96 reads
13 Comments
RCRayJr
Robert Ray
Robert Ray
Poem Published
9th Dec 2024 8:28pm
9th Dec 2024 8:28pm
The Artist
Another Short Horror Story
“The Artist”
by
RCRayJr
The blade lacerated her throat
and blood pours out..
The scream ends in a saturated gargle. Her brown eyes rolled back in her head. Breath leaving her I clinched her blonde hair from behind.
Her weight in my arms under the starlight.
The smell of alcohol and tobacco permeates the damp, cold air.
Into the shadows she’s dragged.
When in the place I chose, I threw her body to the ground. I crouched over her in the blackness of the night. Concealed by dense vegetation behind a...
“The Artist”
by
RCRayJr
The blade lacerated her throat
and blood pours out..
The scream ends in a saturated gargle. Her brown eyes rolled back in her head. Breath leaving her I clinched her blonde hair from behind.
Her weight in my arms under the starlight.
The smell of alcohol and tobacco permeates the damp, cold air.
Into the shadows she’s dragged.
When in the place I chose, I threw her body to the ground. I crouched over her in the blackness of the night. Concealed by dense vegetation behind a...
#ShortStory
135 reads
11 Comments
Liziantus-Marantus
Poem Published
8th Dec 2024 10:55am
8th Dec 2024 10:55am
Once Upon A December
I still remember Once Upon A December.
A month or time I used to remember.
When he held me nice and tight.
Safe,protective and warm.
Lacking of any harm.
When I danced on the dance floor.
In my stunning gown.
When I tried to remember what happened upon.
My memory,like I pressed a button and erased a ton.
A presence,invisible today.
Held me safe and warm.
And my memory began to roam.
Was this a ballroom dance.
Or was this a forgotten,forbidden romance?
And a song someone sings.
...
A month or time I used to remember.
When he held me nice and tight.
Safe,protective and warm.
Lacking of any harm.
When I danced on the dance floor.
In my stunning gown.
When I tried to remember what happened upon.
My memory,like I pressed a button and erased a ton.
A presence,invisible today.
Held me safe and warm.
And my memory began to roam.
Was this a ballroom dance.
Or was this a forgotten,forbidden romance?
And a song someone sings.
...
#dreams
#hope
#love #ShortStory
#love #ShortStory
115 reads
0 Comments
Kou_Indigo
Poem Published
5th Dec 2024 7:07pm
5th Dec 2024 7:07pm
Blake's Ghost Hunters and the Web of Madness: Part Two
#dark
#ghosts
#horror
#scifi
#ShortStory
39 reads
0 Comments
Kou_Indigo
Poem Published
5th Dec 2024 7:04pm
5th Dec 2024 7:04pm
Blake's Ghost Hunters and the Web of Madness: Part One
#dark
#ghosts
#horror
#scifi
#ShortStory
41 reads
0 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
25th Nov 2024 1:42pm
25th Nov 2024 1:42pm
Tops & Tails
They gathered in a room of the hotel that served as a sort of dressing room for waitresses, who functioned essentially as entertainers. The girls weren't dressed in formal wear but in a showgirl ensemble that combined tops and tails with fishnet stockings. A few of the more imposing waitresses even wielded canes like Old Hollywood tap dancers.
Mrs Berkeley sailed into the room, all frontage and steerage. Her chest and rear were of proportions that the girls in her care could only have nightmares about. She wore her hair in the tortured bob of women her age and size. She was...
Mrs Berkeley sailed into the room, all frontage and steerage. Her chest and rear were of proportions that the girls in her care could only have nightmares about. She wore her hair in the tortured bob of women her age and size. She was...
#fiction
#revenge
#ShortStory #violence
#ShortStory #violence
85 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Short Story Seeking Honest Critique
