NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018
napowrimo2018 seeking honest critique poems. Honest feedback has been requested for these poems.
RevolutionAL
Poem Published
28th Apr 2018 12:56pm
28th Apr 2018 12:56pm
Moderna Taverna
It is beautiful
Timber walls
pressed ceilings
Tudor in it's persona
Who knew a house
had so much
to offer
It's playful
(the puppy outside)
eats the newspaper
before
the delivery guy
even drops it
Yaps like a child
Howls to the wind
between
sunrise and sunset
It's happy
The life
in the photograph
of that home
[The world it represents]
Stop!
Is it?
Is it a life?
Having green grass that's
never...
Timber walls
pressed ceilings
Tudor in it's persona
Who knew a house
had so much
to offer
It's playful
(the puppy outside)
eats the newspaper
before
the delivery guy
even drops it
Yaps like a child
Howls to the wind
between
sunrise and sunset
It's happy
The life
in the photograph
of that home
[The world it represents]
Stop!
Is it?
Is it a life?
Having green grass that's
never...
#NaPoWriMo2018
#HumanRights
468 reads
0 Comments
mel44
Poem Published
27th Apr 2018 9:38pm
27th Apr 2018 9:38pm
Hosting Darkness
Trapped
in a cyclone
spiralling thoughts
repeat
reckless isolation
seeking safety
in retreat
hosting darkness
bewitched
yet again
clutching its wrath
settling in
readying self
descending swiftly
as I begin
drowning
once more
murky waters
plunging
ever deep
weighted
in secrets
not meant to keep
alone
sinking
adorning
shame and fear
swallowing
choking
knowing
imminent death near
in a cyclone
spiralling thoughts
repeat
reckless isolation
seeking safety
in retreat
hosting darkness
bewitched
yet again
clutching its wrath
settling in
readying self
descending swiftly
as I begin
drowning
once more
murky waters
plunging
ever deep
weighted
in secrets
not meant to keep
alone
sinking
adorning
shame and fear
swallowing
choking
knowing
imminent death near
#dark
#NaPoWriMo2018
#despair
672 reads
3 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
27th Apr 2018 4:01pm
27th Apr 2018 4:01pm
Pele’s Fire
(sonnet)
formule poésie érotique 27/30
Arose in mist from Kā’ne’s moving thought,
A heart of flame from mana-ocean flew,
Kaua’i, Oahu and Maui brought.
Her staff, from fire rings the Islands grew.
Pele, makai from Haleakala,
Observed “a swimmer” rising from the sea.
Though husband of her sister, Namaka,
Aukele came with Pele willingly.
So strong their joining even seas retreat,
Their flows’ unite, another island brings.
But in Namaka’s...
formule poésie érotique 27/30
Arose in mist from Kā’ne’s moving thought,
A heart of flame from mana-ocean flew,
Kaua’i, Oahu and Maui brought.
Her staff, from fire rings the Islands grew.
Pele, makai from Haleakala,
Observed “a swimmer” rising from the sea.
Though husband of her sister, Namaka,
Aukele came with Pele willingly.
So strong their joining even seas retreat,
Their flows’ unite, another island brings.
But in Namaka’s...
#love
#religion
#spiritual
#NaPoWriMo2018
#historical
804 reads
0 Comments
mel44
Poem Published
26th Apr 2018 10:57pm
26th Apr 2018 10:57pm
Mirror
Living with your judgement
daily exercise is shame
taunting my unworthiness
unable to diffuse blame
scornful ridicule
propelling humiliation
reinforcing beliefs
of eternal damnation
defeating words repeated
chorus for indignity
sustained in disesteem
rearing malignity
your disgust quite obvious
I cling to disgrace
bearing your contempt
confidence has no place
this mirror I possess
reflects inner lamentation
although faulty in its mockery
manifests my fixation
daily exercise is shame
taunting my unworthiness
unable to diffuse blame
scornful ridicule
propelling humiliation
reinforcing beliefs
of eternal damnation
defeating words repeated
chorus for indignity
sustained in disesteem
rearing malignity
your disgust quite obvious
I cling to disgrace
bearing your contempt
confidence has no place
this mirror I possess
reflects inner lamentation
although faulty in its mockery
manifests my fixation
#NaPoWriMo2018
#shame
#SelfReflection
599 reads
4 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
26th Apr 2018 3:46pm
26th Apr 2018 3:46pm
Hawaiian Idols
(German sonnet)
formule poésie érotique 26/30
Soft trade winds gentle fan the budding coffee rows,
The sapphire depths, the taste, and Hanapepe’s lights.
In waters soft as resting lovers’ spent delights,
The day goes down in subtle flares as hard night grows.
On Poipu’s sheltered reef, a fleeting glimpse excites,
Its muscled length extends then disappears again,
The rounded lips above the mouth, its light contain,
And deepest pleasure find, as our pursue invites.
How we devote our full employ, our end obtain. ...
formule poésie érotique 26/30
Soft trade winds gentle fan the budding coffee rows,
The sapphire depths, the taste, and Hanapepe’s lights.
In waters soft as resting lovers’ spent delights,
The day goes down in subtle flares as hard night grows.
On Poipu’s sheltered reef, a fleeting glimpse excites,
Its muscled length extends then disappears again,
The rounded lips above the mouth, its light contain,
And deepest pleasure find, as our pursue invites.
How we devote our full employ, our end obtain. ...
#sex
#sea
#fish
#NaPoWriMo2018
#lover
555 reads
6 Comments
RevolutionAL
Poem Published
26th Apr 2018 10:52am
26th Apr 2018 10:52am
Mad Distraction
Hot,
Not hot, warm
Humid
Warm humidity
Sweaty
Not sweaty, active
Warm active humidity
Bent,
Bent over
Bent over the foot
Bent over the foot of the queen
Bent over the foot of the queen bed
Warm active humidity
bent over the foot of the queen bed
Darkness,
Not darkness
in the dark
Speaking
Speaking to much
Not speaking
Testifying
Testifying to life
Not life lived
life living
Warm active humidity
bent over the foot of the queen bed ...
Not hot, warm
Humid
Warm humidity
Sweaty
Not sweaty, active
Warm active humidity
Bent,
Bent over
Bent over the foot
Bent over the foot of the queen
Bent over the foot of the queen bed
Warm active humidity
bent over the foot of the queen bed
Darkness,
Not darkness
in the dark
Speaking
Speaking to much
Not speaking
Testifying
Testifying to life
Not life lived
life living
Warm active humidity
bent over the foot of the queen bed ...
#NaPoWriMo2018
619 reads
1 Comment
Viddax
Lord Viddax
Lord Viddax
Poem Published
25th Apr 2018 3:32pm
25th Apr 2018 3:32pm
Vaquero Hero
Forget Worms and Words
when it comes to heroes,
as real ones do not wear a cape
or have long winded introductions
detailing every damn superpower
in an infinitely increasing contest.
No, real heroes
appear when you least expect it
especially if you're the unlucky schmuck
pointing a gun at them,
only to take your eyes off the prize
as they coolly remove their glasses
and grab you in surprise
disarming in alarming speed.
Even if you think you're a though
young punk playing
at being a mean gangsta, ...
when it comes to heroes,
as real ones do not wear a cape
or have long winded introductions
detailing every damn superpower
in an infinitely increasing contest.
No, real heroes
appear when you least expect it
especially if you're the unlucky schmuck
pointing a gun at them,
only to take your eyes off the prize
as they coolly remove their glasses
and grab you in surprise
disarming in alarming speed.
Even if you think you're a though
young punk playing
at being a mean gangsta, ...
#NaPoWriMo2018
588 reads
0 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
25th Apr 2018 1:46pm
25th Apr 2018 1:46pm
Old Tom and the Tiger - Caught
(nursery rhyme)
poésie érotique comiquement 25/30
We played in rough and tumble night
That brought ourselves to bare.
And now in sweaty heaps, The Sight!
“Oh, My!” the people stare.
It had begun a silly tuss’,
But bite and scratch did stir,
Within the game such slap and fuss,
Forgetting where we were.
We lost ourselves in nightly play,
Our happy want so strong.
We reached the zenith of our stay,
And even that prolong.
Collapsing then in laughing mess,
We curled to get some sleep.
The time...
poésie érotique comiquement 25/30
We played in rough and tumble night
That brought ourselves to bare.
And now in sweaty heaps, The Sight!
“Oh, My!” the people stare.
It had begun a silly tuss’,
But bite and scratch did stir,
Within the game such slap and fuss,
Forgetting where we were.
We lost ourselves in nightly play,
Our happy want so strong.
We reached the zenith of our stay,
And even that prolong.
Collapsing then in laughing mess,
We curled to get some sleep.
The time...
#childhood
#erotic
#rhyming
#funny
#NaPoWriMo2018
591 reads
1 Comment
mel44
Poem Published
24th Apr 2018 10:31pm
24th Apr 2018 10:31pm
Not a Destination
Pain often necessary for transformation
suffering a teacher, affording reorientation
learning through exposure to life events
products of our past and all its contents
not destined to be imprisoned in single chapters
incidents and tragedy not planned to be our captors
finding there is freedom in vulnerability
character develops, with humility
letting go of what others want to see
to become exactly, who we’re meant to be
life begins unfolding one day at a time
offering opportunities, untried...
suffering a teacher, affording reorientation
learning through exposure to life events
products of our past and all its contents
not destined to be imprisoned in single chapters
incidents and tragedy not planned to be our captors
finding there is freedom in vulnerability
character develops, with humility
letting go of what others want to see
to become exactly, who we’re meant to be
life begins unfolding one day at a time
offering opportunities, untried...
#NaPoWriMo2018
#learning
537 reads
6 Comments
Viddax
Lord Viddax
Lord Viddax
Poem Published
24th Apr 2018 4:30pm
24th Apr 2018 4:30pm
Dying as an Art
Who was it that killed the poetry?
Quenching the fires of inspiration
and butchering the art form,
who did this?
Because today my words fail me;
not through rage and anger
where they spew forth
with volcanic fury
in inexorable natural outburst,
but through a lack of motion
and a lack of emotion.
Where each word crawls
and sentences drag
their limp lifeless selves
across the page that refuses to be filled
in a maddening annoyance.
It is simply a mystery
why the well of inspiration
has...
Quenching the fires of inspiration
and butchering the art form,
who did this?
Because today my words fail me;
not through rage and anger
where they spew forth
with volcanic fury
in inexorable natural outburst,
but through a lack of motion
and a lack of emotion.
Where each word crawls
and sentences drag
their limp lifeless selves
across the page that refuses to be filled
in a maddening annoyance.
It is simply a mystery
why the well of inspiration
has...
#NaPoWriMo2018
#WritersBlock
717 reads
4 Comments
Hepcat61
geoff cat
geoff cat
Poem Published
24th Apr 2018 3:17pm
24th Apr 2018 3:17pm
Storms Electric
(pantoum)
formule poésie érotique 24/30
In soft washed clouds, let storms electric come,
With scents of earth and forest must describe.
We lay entwined, engulfed, a wonder’s sum,
For two as one that wait the storm’s revive.
With scents of earth and forest must describe,
Again to fill ourselves in thunders’ crush.
For two as one that wait the storm’s revive,
Our airs descend in fog of love’s lost blush.
Again to fill ourselves in thunder’s crush,
It came in shrills and groans of deep woods’ flume. ...
formule poésie érotique 24/30
In soft washed clouds, let storms electric come,
With scents of earth and forest must describe.
We lay entwined, engulfed, a wonder’s sum,
For two as one that wait the storm’s revive.
With scents of earth and forest must describe,
Again to fill ourselves in thunders’ crush.
For two as one that wait the storm’s revive,
Our airs descend in fog of love’s lost blush.
Again to fill ourselves in thunder’s crush,
It came in shrills and groans of deep woods’ flume. ...
#sex
#erotic
#nature
#NaPoWriMo2018
#lover
654 reads
4 Comments
ImperfectedStone
The Gardener
The Gardener
Poem Published
24th Apr 2018 9:15am
24th Apr 2018 9:15am
Wait, Rose
I was in the vastness of the web yesterday, reading recipes written by a well
loved British chain
when there
some young fool, tasting their need for right-ness, for the brag brigade, for her moment of gain and glory
took a screenshot, which is a sort of photograph of the web within the web, all very Inception if you ask me,
not that you did.
Well, she circled her lovely screenshot with red pen, demanding the supermarket chain acknowledge their spelling mistake and alert their marketing team,
funnily her designated self-absorption space told me she was...
loved British chain
when there
some young fool, tasting their need for right-ness, for the brag brigade, for her moment of gain and glory
took a screenshot, which is a sort of photograph of the web within the web, all very Inception if you ask me,
not that you did.
Well, she circled her lovely screenshot with red pen, demanding the supermarket chain acknowledge their spelling mistake and alert their marketing team,
funnily her designated self-absorption space told me she was...
#funny
#NaPoWriMo2018
555 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : NaPoWriMo2018 Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#NaPoWriMo2018 is curated by Ahavati (Tams).
