deepundergroundpoetry.com
Introvert
I flicked the switch,
sweeping aside iron curtains;
skulls held captive in the Bronze Age
swiveled towards intrinsic minds.
Mouth sealed silent opened wide
to release guarded thoughts
kindled wild.
Armies of the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought.
Introverted tides order for their
white horses to retreat,
foaming at the mouth.
Turbulent voices claim land,
without a first or second thought.
I plead equality on the side lines,
yet the air doesn't seem to
accept my sound vibrations;
passing me a white flag
in sympathy.
The iron curtains swing
back into place,
as sallow cloths burn to
ashes for the final time.
sweeping aside iron curtains;
skulls held captive in the Bronze Age
swiveled towards intrinsic minds.
Mouth sealed silent opened wide
to release guarded thoughts
kindled wild.
Armies of the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought.
Introverted tides order for their
white horses to retreat,
foaming at the mouth.
Turbulent voices claim land,
without a first or second thought.
I plead equality on the side lines,
yet the air doesn't seem to
accept my sound vibrations;
passing me a white flag
in sympathy.
The iron curtains swing
back into place,
as sallow cloths burn to
ashes for the final time.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 1
comments 21
reads 923
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Introvert
i would have liked to have seen a lil more incorporation of metal references scribbs. not to beat a dead horse but just consistancy from the strong opening with it.
i still like but a lil revision i think could tighten it right up miss...
none the less. well done scribbs!!!
sorry i hate critiquing but would feel even more like a tool if i just gave fuckaroo smily faces......
i still like but a lil revision i think could tighten it right up miss...
none the less. well done scribbs!!!
sorry i hate critiquing but would feel even more like a tool if i just gave fuckaroo smily faces......
1
re: Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:30pm
Appreciate the critique, i'll look over it.
Smiley faces aren't expected,
I do like things to improve on;
it all goes towards improvement.
Thank you for commenting, sir.
Smiley faces aren't expected,
I do like things to improve on;
it all goes towards improvement.
Thank you for commenting, sir.
Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:20pm
Re: Introvert
Anonymous
25th Feb 2013 7:28pm
This poem makes me think of knights and magical swords, and once again I see vikings. A warior queen poem, loved it!
1
re: Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 7:32pm
I like the idea of battle, 'tis intriguing.
Thank you for all your commenting,
much appreciated Mourganna :)
Thank you for all your commenting,
much appreciated Mourganna :)
Re: Introvert
25th Feb 2013 9:20pm
oh reticent one, thou art the man that's powerful, who speaks thoughts rather than act them out!
Goodness! This ink is Amazing!
Im sooooo Loving this piece, Scribbler12!:) xo
Goodness! This ink is Amazing!
Im sooooo Loving this piece, Scribbler12!:) xo
1
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
26th Feb 2013 2:09pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Introvert
26th Feb 2013 5:33pm
Re: Introvert
Anonymous
26th Feb 2013 6:39pm
You always maintain a taut pace in your pieces.
I love that effort is to be made somewhat....exploring your patterns of writing.
Swell poem, S.
Just wondered about that switch there.....
Pen it up all the way!
Cheers
Tidespotter
I love that effort is to be made somewhat....exploring your patterns of writing.
Swell poem, S.
Just wondered about that switch there.....
Pen it up all the way!
Cheers
Tidespotter
1
re: Re: Introvert
26th Feb 2013 6:52pm
Re: Introvert
Anonymous
27th Feb 2013 4:05pm
A wonderful write, as always, Scribbler. I thoroughly enjoyed the read! :)
Carlene
Carlene
1
Re: Introvert
3rd Mar 2013 11:59pm
The battle introverts face is a frightening one. As an introvert myself,
"the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought."
And I definitely have
"Introverted tides order[ing] for their
white horses to retreat."
I had to read it twice in order to make sense of some of the images because at first they felt random. The line about claiming land also confused me a little.
However, all in all - after I understood it more - the images make more sense and the "battle" plot has turned into a nice way to imagine the thoughts of an introvert.
"the defiant storm forward,
compassion lacking as a afterthought."
And I definitely have
"Introverted tides order[ing] for their
white horses to retreat."
I had to read it twice in order to make sense of some of the images because at first they felt random. The line about claiming land also confused me a little.
However, all in all - after I understood it more - the images make more sense and the "battle" plot has turned into a nice way to imagine the thoughts of an introvert.
1
re: Re: Introvert
4th Mar 2013 6:17am
It took me a while to organize my thoughts on this
one, I wouldn't change being an introvert for
anyone. I enjoy my quiet too much :)
Thank you for your comment :)
one, I wouldn't change being an introvert for
anyone. I enjoy my quiet too much :)
Thank you for your comment :)
re: re: Re: Introvert
4th Mar 2013 6:41am
Re: Introvert
Anonymous
9th Apr 2013 11:48am
I relate to this....feels so good to read this...
Often quiet is mistaken as cool and then judged.
Well for me anyway....I love the way you expressed this situation....
Often quiet is mistaken as cool and then judged.
Well for me anyway....I love the way you expressed this situation....
1
re: Re: Introvert
9th Apr 2013 12:21pm