deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Strong, The Weak, The Me
I am weak, and so I am,
or so they say, we're all but men.
Some may seem more brave than me,
even more so too more cowardly.
I'd laugh at those they say are tough,
for they know not of all my stuff.
I may look frail unto his eyes,
my heart though, it never dies.
To those who say I am strong,
Nay! I say unto all of you.
I say now you are wrong,
this I say unto all of you.
or so they say, we're all but men.
Some may seem more brave than me,
even more so too more cowardly.
I'd laugh at those they say are tough,
for they know not of all my stuff.
I may look frail unto his eyes,
my heart though, it never dies.
To those who say I am strong,
Nay! I say unto all of you.
I say now you are wrong,
this I say unto all of you.
Published 20th Feb 2013
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likes 10
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comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
20th Feb 2013 2:41am
20th Feb 2013 3:16pm
Thanks thoroughbred. :) you've always an inspiration fro me to keep on writing. :)
20th Feb 2013 3:17am
20th Feb 2013 3:17pm
20th Feb 2013 5:50am
Dear Me,
....always remember during your 'weakest' moments,
you prevailed because of your 'strength'.
Love always,
~Me
This was thought provoking, smlight!
Beautifully delivered!
....always remember during your 'weakest' moments,
you prevailed because of your 'strength'.
Love always,
~Me
This was thought provoking, smlight!
Beautifully delivered!
20th Feb 2013 3:19pm
Though I felt I lacked conviction in this piece right here, I appreciate you're comment, as always.
Thank you once again. :)
Thank you once again. :)
21st Feb 2013 11:21am
This poem reminds me of a coiled cobra waiting to strike. keep on writing and you will get it right. Very good effort you must be a martial artist of the pen!
21st Feb 2013 11:58am
Wow, martial artist of the pen... that's heavy. Thanks halohalo20... :)
Anonymous
23rd Feb 2013 11:36am
I love this!:)
Anonymous
24th Feb 2013 10:36am
Very Nice!:)
28th Feb 2013 1:07am
I was impressed by this poem. I liked the idea of the poem which is universal but you managed to handle it without resorting to cliches. My only criticism is that one or two of the rhymes felt off (ex. "stuff" doesn't really work in a poem that is primarily made up of serious words) Also the phrase "even more so too more cowardly" I found a little confusing. Other than that I really enjoyed this poem. You are a talented writer.
3rd Mar 2013 3:49am
Yeah, the word stuff should not be there but I'm a man who writes in the mood... I was mad at that time, and my whole vocabulary seemed to go lockdown. Probably why 'stuff' was the only one that came out.
Also, the part "even more so too more cowardly" aimed to be a form of conflict within the piece. That's what I was taught in class, insert lines or phrases or thoughts that are confusing, unclear, even sometimes wrong to form a conflict. This conflict in the sense of this piece is the fighting between the Strong Me and the Weak Me...
I'll take down notes ;) Thanks a lot. Thank you BrokenShards. I'll aim to improve ;)
Also, the part "even more so too more cowardly" aimed to be a form of conflict within the piece. That's what I was taught in class, insert lines or phrases or thoughts that are confusing, unclear, even sometimes wrong to form a conflict. This conflict in the sense of this piece is the fighting between the Strong Me and the Weak Me...
I'll take down notes ;) Thanks a lot. Thank you BrokenShards. I'll aim to improve ;)
