Untold Life Story

You think you know me because you see me from the outside but really what it is, is my inside outcry. Outside in it's all just for prentend to hide the insecurities that started at age 10. That grew at age 12 and got worse by 14, the world got meaner and my outcry became a terrified scream. Then at age 15 I got raped verbally by a man whose face became a nightmare to me. But wait, damn I didn't of how large the affects would be until one day my father laid down next to me. I wasn't sure of his actions, maybe he would try it too. And now this fear I have is wide open in the eyes of everyones view. My innocence being taken away turned to something I gave, being mesmerized and hypnotized by the things you said and thos pretty eyes, which then sadly turned to lies. One big problem and you left my side, what happened to forever? Together was always better, right? Through thick and thin even though we're not married, right? "Stop dwelling on the past", I've heard so many times. But I use my past for inspiration, a god giving, grace saving expectation for this un-forsaken scene. Well now i'm 16 and the sky is no longer my limit. I am now limited to these four walls that seem to close in gracefully. It amazes me, that the same people we call friends will one day be our enemies, and the worst one is me. I am my own worst enemy. Mainly because I know my weaknesses and it weakens me. I know it's sad see, maybe I belong behind bars in those black and white stripes, take a breather on go and let the devil take me life. Mad at my parents because I can't go and come as I please. While they're down on their knews begging, and pleading, forcing me to be in a place I bearly want to be in. Am I living life? Or is this just one big devils sin. We make mistakes to learn so we don't have to depend on a friend, a foe, or even those we call our righthand man. I recommand you undertand speaking to those who choose to judge me, but this is me telling my untold life story.