< pictures of spring >

the best of all is the last haiku!
well done all of them are amazing

'slitting their faces'
i love that line for some deep psycho reason.
 
for the same deep psycho reason i'm really thrilled  
that you liked that four word haiku  :)

you're really getting the feel for haiku, BTW

i think i do as well!
it took me some time but it was totally worth it.
im so addicted to haiku that i can't stop thinking in a haiku way.

"i can't stop thinking in a haiku way"
 
don't do this while driving or investing in financial derivatives  

i had to read it twice in order to "get into the mood". but really liked it - poems work well with haiku, i could nearly sense the autumn (i believe it has its own smell :)  ) and colourful dried leaves under my legs; the sound of the photograph being cut into two and memories of the past (dead leaves, but the fresh flowers have still been remembered) great work

sometimes the mood thing is a bit of a problem.  i think a good writer    
should be able to get it across effortlessly.  but hey, depending on the    
goodness of (good) readers isn't all that bad... hmmm, i could 'spin' that    
and say something like: "i write poems for poets" (meaning anyone reading    
them has to possess the ability to complete the damn things themselves.)  
  
but wait... since POETS are the only people who read any of this damn stuff
anyway (meaning mine, yours, almost everybody's);  
 
we are all writing for poets!  
 
that's incestuous, but really kind of great, lovely actually, wouldn't have  
it any other way.

If I read 100 times this composition of yours, I will have 100 interpretations and conclusions. It's simply magnetic. Very few poems I can read like this. Moreover it is really like a picture painted on a canvass, I can see it. So appropriate is the title.

This is an answer to a comment Tim posted, then removed.
 (Tim needs to disappear from time to time.)

Tim said:    
"I have had this style explained to me by Jack"    
   
Jack's explanation and mine probably don't have much in common.    
But why should explanations have much in common?  
   
   
"and I don't really get it"    
   
IMHO: 'Getting' some sort of style is like 'getting' which typeface is the    
best to use for describing injustice. It's pretty much just jacking off    
for the fun of it (not a terrible thing, but not very important either).    
The same goes for arguing whether a piece of writing is 'poetry' or 'prose'.    
   
   
"... I do know that this is beautiful and quite sad; like a cocktail you have never    
had before."    
   
Which is one reason I like to read your stuff: You got the metaphor thing down great.

anandosen:
Here's how you do it: You try to write about the same damn thing ten or twelve times and it never comes out right so in desperation you just throw it all together, take out some stuff you really hate, and hope someone likes it.  And if someone does... you feel happy and bless them for it.  Bless you!

another example:

      < interior decorating >
    
      this poem is a lonely room
      a bare room
      these words
      are it's only furniture
      
      this poem is an empty room
      i'm trying to fill
      with the furniture
      of these words
    
      this poem is an empty room
      i'm trying to furnish
      with these words
      
      well...
    
      no matter how i move them around
      it needs you
      coming in the door
    
   - - -

truly, my friend.

as a suggestion, in the lines

"fresh flowers
and dead leaves
 
bright leaves
 
i remember them"

I feel as though the "and" before "dead leaves" could be done without. But that might be personal editorial opinion. The less words it takes, the better, I always tell myself.

But seriously man, it captures a part of love I feel is often rarely captured.

yes, you're right that 'and' shouldn't stand in front. it would work as:

fresh flowers
dead leaves
bright leaves

but i want the pause so i could do this:

fresh flowers
dead leaves

bright leaves

but what i really wanted to do was group the first two, then pause, then expres something positive about the leaves, even if dead

so changing it to:

fresh flowers and dead leaves

bright leaves

works much better than the original with
the 'and' starting the line.

have changed it, thanks

and yes, usually the fewer words the better

your amendment was better than my suggestion. it was way more thought out, of course.

i especially like the

'you leaving me
me leaving you'

and how the 'leaving' doubles both as a verb and a noun within the poem's context.

this is very well constructed, though i am no expert. it made me feel something. that's all i can say as a critic. and i am no professional critic. or even amateur.

me too (not that it stops me).  
 
"this is very well constructed"  
 
it's WAY over-constructed, but that's what i was trying for... or does that make it normally constructed because to be  
 over-constructed i'd have to have wanted not as much construction...

it's always wonderful to have any of your diverse personalities express an approbatory opinion of my work as i think you're the best when it comes to constructing beautiful word sculptures. BUT!!! You need to stop reading this stuff and GET BUSY writing a lizard poem... or TWO! Yes, the price has gone up!