deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Great Western Soul
Never knew why it was called
the Great Western Highway.
Just a long, lonely road.
For walkers like me, anyway.
It's been too long
since I've seen her.
Tears in her eyes,
words lost between us.
I didn't mean for this to collapse
Or lose her.
But I'll always remember
what she said.
It made sense then.
And it makes sense now,
on the road, the Great Western.
Cars and Trucks,
swiftly passing me by
There I go, a broken man.
Bag hanging
by one strap
my head bowed.
As the rain surrounds
me.
Still walking on
Western ways,
accompany western winds.
Great pains,
to lone souls.
As the highway it claims
Lone souls with forgotten homes
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me.
My thoughts, they fade
even this pain fades.
I still hear my woman..
Her memory will never fade..
I've walked on for sixteen hours
through wind, rain and heat.
My skin, shivering
with the sullen winds..
Walking on,
the rain sways with wind
Roaring traffic,
casting tides of rain-water
I don't bother to avoid
Cracking thunder and peak hour traffic
ringing out in the night.
I don't deserve to go home,
as if home existed anymore..
Wandering on
aimlessly.
Without a care for past
or the here and now.
Every part of my being
begs for her touch
Later in the evening
Stretched out on a bus shelter chair
With a bottle of Jack.
Drinking not to the past
but to the future
To wherever I may go.
the Great Western Highway.
Just a long, lonely road.
For walkers like me, anyway.
It's been too long
since I've seen her.
Tears in her eyes,
words lost between us.
I didn't mean for this to collapse
Or lose her.
But I'll always remember
what she said.
It made sense then.
And it makes sense now,
on the road, the Great Western.
Cars and Trucks,
swiftly passing me by
There I go, a broken man.
Bag hanging
by one strap
my head bowed.
As the rain surrounds
me.
Still walking on
Western ways,
accompany western winds.
Great pains,
to lone souls.
As the highway it claims
Lone souls with forgotten homes
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me.
My thoughts, they fade
even this pain fades.
I still hear my woman..
Her memory will never fade..
I've walked on for sixteen hours
through wind, rain and heat.
My skin, shivering
with the sullen winds..
Walking on,
the rain sways with wind
Roaring traffic,
casting tides of rain-water
I don't bother to avoid
Cracking thunder and peak hour traffic
ringing out in the night.
I don't deserve to go home,
as if home existed anymore..
Wandering on
aimlessly.
Without a care for past
or the here and now.
Every part of my being
begs for her touch
Later in the evening
Stretched out on a bus shelter chair
With a bottle of Jack.
Drinking not to the past
but to the future
To wherever I may go.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 4
comments 19
reads 1051
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 7:37am
A suiting poem for the situation. Lots of genuine emotions, oddly optimistic, yet morose. Good job.
Caliban
Caliban
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 7:38am
Thank you, Caliban. Definitely triggered some old, insecure emotions. Always good to draw from for a muse. Thanks again!
Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 7:53am
Definitely a downcast piece, I had the rain drumming in the back of my head as I read it.
A talent for getting your story across.
Ended on a mystical hopeful note,
left me wondering: what happens next?
Very well written, sir.
Scribbler
A talent for getting your story across.
Ended on a mystical hopeful note,
left me wondering: what happens next?
Very well written, sir.
Scribbler
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 7:55am
Thanks Scribbler, always brings a good note having you stop by, thanks again for the thoughtful comments. :-)
Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 8:17am
Quite the storyteller you are which I why I'm glad you are on the same journey as I am now, my brother in prose.
you have painted a picture for me the puts me there. I can see this Road you travel to escape your past knowing not where you are going. I've been there too, Evan, and often due to some cute girl.
I believe you are finding or have found your voice with this one. A far cry from "Vegan" and a much higher quality of writing style and subject matter. You've open your soul for us to see and there is a wonderful and creative man just waiting ti burst out of there!
Nice write.
Gemini
you have painted a picture for me the puts me there. I can see this Road you travel to escape your past knowing not where you are going. I've been there too, Evan, and often due to some cute girl.
I believe you are finding or have found your voice with this one. A far cry from "Vegan" and a much higher quality of writing style and subject matter. You've open your soul for us to see and there is a wonderful and creative man just waiting ti burst out of there!
Nice write.
Gemini
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 8:22am
Thank you Gemini! Generous and meaningful comments there mate, we've known each other since I starte dout on the DUP and it's great how I've evolved and shaped myself as a man, honing my craft. And DUP changes us, that's for damn sure!
Thanks heaps mate! :-)
Thanks heaps mate! :-)
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:45am
10th Feb 2013 1:42pm
<< post removed >>
Re: The Great Western Soul
Anonymous
10th Feb 2013 9:07am
This is a really fine piece of writing, Evan. Love the poem with many faves & this:
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me.
My thoughts, they fade
even this pain fades.
I still hear my woman..
Her memory will never fade..
Brilliant pen & an equally brilliant read! ON my reading list! :)
Carlene
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me.
My thoughts, they fade
even this pain fades.
I still hear my woman..
Her memory will never fade..
Brilliant pen & an equally brilliant read! ON my reading list! :)
Carlene
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 9:10am
Re: The Great Western Soul
10th Feb 2013 9:26am
"As the highway it claims
Lone souls with forgotten homes
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me."
Best part, for me. Yes, there is power in pain; well done for drawing on that.
Lone souls with forgotten homes
Sinking into my clothes,
becoming me."
Best part, for me. Yes, there is power in pain; well done for drawing on that.
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
Thank you Atakti, yeah I drew from emotions and experiences only a year old. It's about damn time I started writing personally. Sick of hiding.
Re: The Great Western Soul
12th Feb 2013 1:46am
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
12th Feb 2013 4:22am
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13th Feb 2013 3:50am
I love the timeless feeling created by the first stanza, mixing your past with an air of endless highway, ageless blacktop. The second and third stanzas bring the reader through the present, with the final stanza a tip to the future (the one you want, anyway). The punctuation is pretty choppy in places, but aside from that it's great.
1
re: .
13th Feb 2013 3:52am
Thanks Mike! I'll definitely tighten it up. I still have trouble finding the right spots for the commas, and where I want the reader to pause, I'll get the hang of it.
Thanks again mate! :-)
Thanks again mate! :-)
Re: The Great Western Soul
Your imagery worked effectively with the mood and tone set about searching and being alone throughout a difficult struggle. The theme of the road also kept my mind moving on throughout the poem, and your reminders about the walking walked me through to the end of the poem.
When you mentioned not bothering to avoid the "tides of rain-water", it really sparked my memory of those times we sometimes get where situations in life are just so shitty, that we no longer care about things like being drenched in rain water.
Great write :)
When you mentioned not bothering to avoid the "tides of rain-water", it really sparked my memory of those times we sometimes get where situations in life are just so shitty, that we no longer care about things like being drenched in rain water.
Great write :)
1
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
3rd Mar 2013 5:46am
Re: The Great Western Soul
12th Mar 2013 8:40pm
Nice work man! I particularly liked this line:
Cracking thunder and peak hour traffic
ringing out in the night.
I don't deserve to go home,
as if home existed anymore..
Lots of real good imagery. I liked the ending a lot as well, sad yet hopeful, which is a good way to end a poem like this.
Cracking thunder and peak hour traffic
ringing out in the night.
I don't deserve to go home,
as if home existed anymore..
Lots of real good imagery. I liked the ending a lot as well, sad yet hopeful, which is a good way to end a poem like this.
0
re: Re: The Great Western Soul
12th Mar 2013 11:49pm