Blind Date

I said to me mate who’d arranged a blind date
Is she a goer and does she look great?
He said she was ‘different’ which sounds an alarm
But I went along anyway what was the harm?

We met in a car park all gloomy and dark
Said he’d arranged it like this for a lark
I could see she was big though her face it was hidden
To look at her now I was strictly forbidden
When we got to the pub and into the light
I damn near fainted Oh god what a fright

She looked like Mike Tyson dressed up in drag
She said hello big boy do you fancy shag?
I ran for the exit with her in my wake
Oh lord please save me from my awful mistake
I think I’ve out run her though I tremble with fear
I’m under my bed now and I’m staying here!