My sleeps infliction

I'm fighting rest with no coach
Taking blows of maybes
Sleep or no sleep
With processed thoughts running through my mind
Skipping its stage of skepticism
Am I free to doubt since I pay for my actions
Or am I rich in curiosity due my consequences being paid for
My dreams are peaceful nightmares
Swelling up my intentions on waking up
So I remain still
In Partial paralysis
Holding on to my last prayer
So tight my hands begin to bleed
Is my final breath worth my last hope
I feel stuck in stranded
Straining to reach my only resort
Which is now beach front to these massive brain waves
Flowing with aggregated determination
I've got to get out
I'm trapped in a tunnel with no outlet
And if I U-turn
I'm back to the beginning of it
Dodging collision along the way
See no insurance covers this collapse
Lungs hung like a suicide victim
So how could I lift what's already been dropped
....My Faith....
Can I wake
Or is my attack still being jumped by demons of suffocation
As my painless flesh lies beneath the covers of
Life and death
While gathered darkness prevails
Along the blinds of my blinded eyes
A hollow vision
Fixed on one direction
Thank God I wasn't facing the pillow
See maybe this is a sign for a sign up
Am I truly believing
Or deceiving my own mind
With lines of Hail Mary in distinguished dialect
I'm probably on the team
But riding the bench
With the skills of a starter
Who's start up isn't triggered
Is this reliable interpretation
Or am I speaking in broken parables
Just to find a way to rescue my breath
From this confined hallucination
My warnings at times are too quick to uncover
I remain hindered in a stiff body
With no voice because my scream exits internally
You couldn't help because your prediction
Could be an inhale too short
Or a flatline too late
At least I have a fight
But if I fight no more
I am no more
I am
Afraid
So I swing wild
Looking for a jump to reality
I'm getting close
So now my swing is ordered
Now's the time
Push
I'm back to life
With a thank God I wasn't aborted out that malignant womb
I dozz again..................