Foreign Feelings

It all came back tonight
as he belittled me
blamed me
guilted me
for everything in his life
Same as he’s always done

It flashed through my mind in mere seconds
childhood to the teenage years to the young adult years to
this very moment

I snapped!

Rage fueled me
Adrenaline shook my body
I screamed out
without awareness of what my words were

For the first time in thirty-five years
I fought back
He retreated
Roles had reversed
even if just for one night

I should feel empowered
a sense of freedom
but this is foreign to me

I walked out with the intention
of never returning
walking down the street
while tears poured down my face
right past my closest friend’s house
ignoring my lover’s phone call
just needing to be alone
to try to make sense
of what I’d done

Hours later...
The answer has yet to come.