Life or Death?

I love you
But do you?
Did you?
I have to leave
But I have to stay
I have to leave for Robbie
I have to stay for Eli
I have to leave for Uncle John
I have to stay for Scott
I'm dieing because I'm not knowing
I'm empty
You were my something
I'm awaiting my own decision
I have to leave for my family
I have to stay for my friends
I'm lost
I'm hated
I'm loved
I'm wanted
What am I
Do I make you proud
Or do I disgust you

Did you leave for the reason
You told me?
Or did you hate me deep down inside
You said you wanted to love me
But I don't think you were even close to
Loving me
I could be wrong
I could be right

What is the answer
Life or Death?