Now and Forever

Rain beats heavily upon my window
I weep trying to cleanse my soul

a no vacancy sign on my broken heart
everything always is doomed from the start

There isn't a word in the English language for how I truly feel
I smack myself hard making sure this nightmare is real

how do I kill a memory that just wont die
one that walks, talks and it cries

holding my knees to my chest while running around in my brain
looking for a way back, my mind is my orbital plane

moons and stars in a distant galaxy
telescopes twisting reality

I want to free myself from the prison in my head
its so very hard, my soul mate is dead

living a life that I never imagined
I cant even explain how it all happened

rocking back and forth waiting for the pain to subside
insanely laughing an crying like Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde

needing peace, what is peace
the only one who loved me is deceased

I don't want sleep nor do I want to dream
I don't even want to watch my favorite stars gleam

everything died on that miserable day
everything I loved faded and went away

when they buried him, they buried most of me too
now on the floor I come unglued

screaming at the top of my lungs for as long as I can
wondering how much more of this lonely life I can actually stand