deepundergroundpoetry.com
Do as I do
Love is a joke
I'll tell you why
All that shit you see on tv it's all a lie
them books you're reading
that's a lonely housewives tale of happily ever after
love songs! made to make money off the lonely housewife
with an asshole for a husband
you really think a guy wants to hold your hand?
Brush the hair from your face as he gazes into your eyes
lay with you in bed and just talk
make you his future
Please what a fucking joke
That man don't want to love you
He is trying to just fuck you
Do as I do
Play that fool for the fool he is
take what you want
then toss him to the lonely housewife
watching tv alone every damn night
I'll tell you why
All that shit you see on tv it's all a lie
them books you're reading
that's a lonely housewives tale of happily ever after
love songs! made to make money off the lonely housewife
with an asshole for a husband
you really think a guy wants to hold your hand?
Brush the hair from your face as he gazes into your eyes
lay with you in bed and just talk
make you his future
Please what a fucking joke
That man don't want to love you
He is trying to just fuck you
Do as I do
Play that fool for the fool he is
take what you want
then toss him to the lonely housewife
watching tv alone every damn night
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Re: Do as I do
HAHA! jaysus Gigi eat them up and spit them out (first grab all the loot). :) funny stuff.
and beneath the humor may well be a narrator,hardened to a consistency not unlike granite.
couple of little things might need your eye.
"All that shit you see on tv it's not real"
something not quite right with the It's on that line.could be just a comma needed after tv.
I was thinking maybe change it for something that it is. is fake or is lies
All that shit you see on tv is lies
"happily ever after" on the one line
"with an asshole for a husband" on one line
" every damn night " on the one line.
really good poem Gigi. shine on !
and beneath the humor may well be a narrator,hardened to a consistency not unlike granite.
couple of little things might need your eye.
"All that shit you see on tv it's not real"
something not quite right with the It's on that line.could be just a comma needed after tv.
I was thinking maybe change it for something that it is. is fake or is lies
All that shit you see on tv is lies
"happily ever after" on the one line
"with an asshole for a husband" on one line
" every damn night " on the one line.
really good poem Gigi. shine on !
1
re: Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 1:27am
Lol this is Gigi after a very bad date lol very bad. Hold my hand try to call me wifey and doesn't even know my real name lol. Litterly I wrote this in 5 min I know it needs much much work. Thank you hed you know I value your opinion very much so xoxoxo will fix it up
Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 1:27am
Awesome poem Gigi, it made me keel over laughing.
Eamon, I think:
"All that shit you see on tv is lies"
should be
"All the shit you see on tv are lies"
Honestly Gigi, great piece, keep it up.
Duncan
Eamon, I think:
"All that shit you see on tv is lies"
should be
"All the shit you see on tv are lies"
Honestly Gigi, great piece, keep it up.
Duncan
2
re: Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 1:28am
Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 2:58am
Re: Do as I do
Anonymous
16th Sep 2012 4:41am
Omg that was hilarious ....wifey? What kinda nut job does that? And people call me insane WTF
Great job you made me smile again.
Great job you made me smile again.
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Private message
Anonymous
16th Sep 2012 4:49am
I figured I would send you a private message...you arn't going to tell everyone that it was me are you?
Because I have this reputation I'm trying to uphold. And if this got out.. : ( Well it would be devastating to it... So if you could keep it hush hush I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks wifey...... Haha!
Because I have this reputation I'm trying to uphold. And if this got out.. : ( Well it would be devastating to it... So if you could keep it hush hush I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks wifey...... Haha!
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re: Private message
16th Sep 2012 4:53am
Re: Do as I do
Anonymous
16th Sep 2012 4:51am
And see I'm finally getting this site all figured out... And you said I were an idiot... Haha
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Re: Do as I do
hmmmmm
eye'd be glad t'hold yr hand , talk in bed & all that
nice sweet shit, butt ain't even no lonely housewifes
'want' --
since died 12 yr ago....seems eye 'see' too much for any body's comfort......
when'll aye ever get'round t'finish what stupid'heart started a dozen ago......
as for you're po'em, it pains me deep that wee gets caught in such painy minds about this fckn Love thing.....wee don't re'al'ize 'ow much wee've wasted...&yes, th'male of our species is the traditional torch'bearer & instigator of much of our pollution of our love-potential, & female seems t'get caught in feelin no-choice other than to react wit likewise toxicity....but tha's thee way human ego works to bolster The Self wit it's own bullshit...female or male, comes down to same crapSelfCrap 'round'n'round, over'n'over. No body is to blame for the way wee have to blame each other......& bla blah bla bla....aye'll go'way now...byebye....I 'have' a life-changing 'job' to finish...HA! (fckn funnyboy indeed)
eye'd be glad t'hold yr hand , talk in bed & all that
nice sweet shit, butt ain't even no lonely housewifes
'want' --
since died 12 yr ago....seems eye 'see' too much for any body's comfort......
when'll aye ever get'round t'finish what stupid'heart started a dozen ago......
as for you're po'em, it pains me deep that wee gets caught in such painy minds about this fckn Love thing.....wee don't re'al'ize 'ow much wee've wasted...&yes, th'male of our species is the traditional torch'bearer & instigator of much of our pollution of our love-potential, & female seems t'get caught in feelin no-choice other than to react wit likewise toxicity....but tha's thee way human ego works to bolster The Self wit it's own bullshit...female or male, comes down to same crapSelfCrap 'round'n'round, over'n'over. No body is to blame for the way wee have to blame each other......& bla blah bla bla....aye'll go'way now...byebye....I 'have' a life-changing 'job' to finish...HA! (fckn funnyboy indeed)
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re: Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 5:08pm
I am glad you got a laugh out of it!! And you have a valid point, women are needed creatures. We expect a lot. Kinda sad really. Thank you for your comment :-) xoxoxo
Re: Do as I do
16th Sep 2012 5:15pm
I commented on this
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/68240-sair-fae-gender-relations/
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/68240-sair-fae-gender-relations/
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