Daily Dose of Dread

I'll be alright because im always looking up.
No matter how bad my life might end up.
If everyone knows how crazy I am they wont ever give a damn.
If only they knew what goes on in my head.
Oh boy they'd wish I was dead.
The smiles I smile are so fake. Every single one.
For me its easy as cake.
It surprises even me, its so hard to believe.
Because all that goes on is scream after scream.
Constant yelling in place of my thoughts.
I lied to myself for so long that everything inside me rots.
Am I really so weak that I wont change anything?
I didnt think i was capable of putting a knot in that string.
Forgive me for wanting to give up even when I say I'm looking up.
But why do I keep looking up there? with the oh so blank and boring stare?
I guess I do because I'm just waiting for a piano to fall.
To finally END IT ALL.