deepundergroundpoetry.com
Girlwind
I take back the nickname
I gave to you
toss it in the trash
along with any dreams
that may still linger
You are no longer special
just one
of almost seven billion
with seven demystified
for good measure
I see
that the eye of my storm
is calm now
and authentic as a plastic tornado
you have swept on by
to your west
One blink and
your blip fades over the edge
a moment's distraction
the final trace
not even a sigh
remaining on my radar
Now I can sleep
my head on my own shoulder
acting out apart
free from the mixed up movie
of a graceless
whirlwind
romance
I gave to you
toss it in the trash
along with any dreams
that may still linger
You are no longer special
just one
of almost seven billion
with seven demystified
for good measure
I see
that the eye of my storm
is calm now
and authentic as a plastic tornado
you have swept on by
to your west
One blink and
your blip fades over the edge
a moment's distraction
the final trace
not even a sigh
remaining on my radar
Now I can sleep
my head on my own shoulder
acting out apart
free from the mixed up movie
of a graceless
whirlwind
romance
Published 31st Mar 2010
| Edited 18th Jul 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 9
reads 1417
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
31st Mar 2010 12:30pm
I have just been out of an affair A...and I think this one is a motivational one for me...exactly I m feeling the same now...a good loathe upon ur girlfriend...sorry, girlwind:-)
31st Mar 2010 1:06pm
I'm not sure what you mean by Spat ur own, Anando but the rest of your feedback was cool - thanks!
Anonymous
31st Mar 2010 4:22pm
like your title very much as also the hurt that imbues this one, everything, it seems to me, is parabolic, feelings especially:-( its a well written dark moving ditty A
31st Mar 2010 4:52pm
You know the title only came to me as I was posting, Priya (it was just going to be Whirlwind) What a satisfying last minute tweak! Thanks for your kind feedback dear.
Anonymous
31st Mar 2010 11:56pm
As Priya says, I think this effectively captures an underlying hurt, which the subject is keen to neglect, preferring to focus on the more positive approach of 'dusting yourself down and getting back on the horse'
An enjoyable poem, flows brilliantly and a cool title..
S
An enjoyable poem, flows brilliantly and a cool title..
S
1st Apr 2010 10:06am
13th Apr 2010 7:44pm
You never cease to astound with your beautiful language and amazing metaphors, Abra.
"authentic as a plastic tornado", "not even a sigh remaining on my radar", "a graceless whirlwind romance"
You bring your poetry to life and allow me to feel the words as they come out of your mouth (or off the page) - it's so realistic and just stunning!
And as everybody else mentioned - your title is amazing. :)
"authentic as a plastic tornado", "not even a sigh remaining on my radar", "a graceless whirlwind romance"
You bring your poetry to life and allow me to feel the words as they come out of your mouth (or off the page) - it's so realistic and just stunning!
And as everybody else mentioned - your title is amazing. :)
23rd Nov 2010 3:38pm
20th Jun 2011 6:30pm
