Patient

Every few weeks he must have had enough
or not enough but which ever it's okay with me
and he enters my room at night.
Since the surgery, we cannot sleep fully
together for fear at night that tossing and turning
he will accidently knock out the wires and tubes
now keeping me alive, as if they were my source.

Once the evening shift of nurses are gone
and the night is free of anyone,
he returns to me and we have our time
together to be alone and he has his turn.

I am not sure if he is aware of my fully
conscious state of paralysis, here in bed,
but the moment he re-enters my room
I become alive and vibrant although unmoving
for I have not budged a limb or finger
in all these 7 years, since the wreck with its
irreparable damage to my spine and  mind.

He rolls me over on my sheepskin pad,
uncovers my legs and back, carefully
removes the tubes and connections
from beneath the Velcro tethers that hold them
and then he applies a warm towel to my skin
to wash me off and delicately smooths my gown
and folds it back to roll me back over
so that when he leans in to kiss me
I will not feel the discomfort of layers of clothe
beneath my thinning skin and unlately flexed
muscles and bones in their raw positions.

Inching his breath along my throat until he then
can at last be sure that I have not developed
an aversion to our love making, he spreads
the hand-warmed gel between my legs up into
my vagina and touches me with the electricity
of a street car wire on an evening run.

Once lubricated and only slightly panting,
I want to coax him to take me and fuck me
and want me as badly as I want him,
and he talks only so little not believing
that I can hear his every so wonderful syllable
and naked instruction, with fantastic erection
and eventually feeling only the very final tip
as he enters me holding me off of the pad
and using the mattress to launch himself
into me, and I have been waiting for an eternity
for him to deliver a word and his semen
as messages straight from the gods that my voice
has not left me, alone in my bed on the 8th floor
unable to speak or to acknowledge but only knowing
that soon my guardian angel in white
will come and invest his whole evening on being
just only with me, in our bed in my dreams.

runningturtle87