deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lazy lightening
Numb enough
until its not
Strong armed burdened
with bottled lightening
without a cork
remnants of a passion
too unfocused
to implode
a trickling time bomb
a leak
as lethargic as tarpits
with a kinetic mania
too big to be displayed
yet tugging incessantly at my inseams
Failed by the deities of inspiration
and apathy
I wish I had faith
just to lose it
To leave this ditch of utter corruption
I must dig through to the other side
of my misconceptions
my mere laziness
my ridiculous ego that hasnt had an unhobbled leg to stand on in so long that I forgot why I gave it a voice to begin with
I find the idea of regret
so pitifully dismal
and just so damned unaesthetically appealing
that it is hard for me to admit
that I have so many
until its not
Strong armed burdened
with bottled lightening
without a cork
remnants of a passion
too unfocused
to implode
a trickling time bomb
a leak
as lethargic as tarpits
with a kinetic mania
too big to be displayed
yet tugging incessantly at my inseams
Failed by the deities of inspiration
and apathy
I wish I had faith
just to lose it
To leave this ditch of utter corruption
I must dig through to the other side
of my misconceptions
my mere laziness
my ridiculous ego that hasnt had an unhobbled leg to stand on in so long that I forgot why I gave it a voice to begin with
I find the idea of regret
so pitifully dismal
and just so damned unaesthetically appealing
that it is hard for me to admit
that I have so many
Published 26th Jun 2012
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comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jun 2012 7:32am
Wow. I know I tend to deal with things by NOT dealing with them. They always tug at me, and eventually I have to leave my state of denial. Your poem makes me think of that.
"I wish I had faith
just to lose it"
I really love the feeling behind this poem,and those two lines really say a lot about it.
"I find the idea of regret
so pitifully dismal
and just so damned unaesthetically appealing
that it is hard for me to admit
that I have so many"
That made me say, "aww" when I finished reading it the first time. That last stanza really brings the whole feeling together.
Thanks for sharing. :)
"I wish I had faith
just to lose it"
I really love the feeling behind this poem,and those two lines really say a lot about it.
"I find the idea of regret
so pitifully dismal
and just so damned unaesthetically appealing
that it is hard for me to admit
that I have so many"
That made me say, "aww" when I finished reading it the first time. That last stanza really brings the whole feeling together.
Thanks for sharing. :)
26th Jun 2012 8:00am
Thank you much rachel...feel like im always dealing with a feeling of having "missed my boat", and always giving up right before I build a new one...not jaded but certainly not shiny
26th Jun 2012 8:02am
and i'm seriously starting to doubt you do it intentionally because this is so natural feeling, but even without alliterations and bouncy words this one still rattles in the front of my mouth when reading aloud. i love your style for enhancing whatever you're saying with the 'oomph' feeling i get from words just sounding so good in their places. [:
26th Jun 2012 8:20am
Thank ya kindly j...spose without the ability to bounce my narration a bit then I might be jaded...or perhaps inspired. Preciate your comment
26th Jun 2012 2:27pm
Our life's regrets are baggage that we carry around weighing us down and impeding us from moving forward. Learn from your mistakes, make amends where you can and never repeat them twice. Then and only then can you be free of regret.
Thank you g red for the words of wisdom... Intellectually I think I know that, just putting in the emotional leg work is where I fall short
26th Jun 2012 8:38pm
Lightbaron
Trickling time bomb was a notch
higher than the last time I remember.
As always I love the wordplay and the flow.
Effortless, seemingly stream of conscious.
This flows and pours beautifully, almost
alive with motion and emotion. [I always
love that in your poetry]
I reckon that the long line was intentional.
Cause the effect is tangible.
S7, L3 felt like borderline overkill, but then
its you.:)
Yes, so many of those. Really.
Happy writing sir,
Sumeet
Trickling time bomb was a notch
higher than the last time I remember.
As always I love the wordplay and the flow.
Effortless, seemingly stream of conscious.
This flows and pours beautifully, almost
alive with motion and emotion. [I always
love that in your poetry]
I reckon that the long line was intentional.
Cause the effect is tangible.
S7, L3 felt like borderline overkill, but then
its you.:)
Yes, so many of those. Really.
Happy writing sir,
Sumeet
26th Jun 2012 9:04pm
Thanks sumeet for the feedback. This really was a stream, perhaps closer to prose,many unfinished pieces dealing with these thoughts, sorta wanted to get something out to keep it wet so to speak
28th Jun 2012 00:08am
my ridiculous ego that hasnt had an unhobbled leg to stand on in so long that I forgot why I gave it a voice to begin with
Holy motherfucker, THAT is the phrase I wish I'd birthed.
It's anguished and humble and jaded and light and just... hell. yeah.
Holy motherfucker, THAT is the phrase I wish I'd birthed.
It's anguished and humble and jaded and light and just... hell. yeah.
28th Jun 2012 00:52am
28th Jun 2012 1:48am
Word up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHAdfGlZHk4
(every body say, when you hear the call you got to get it underway)
Sorry, that phrase made me have a bad 1980s flashback. I'm better now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHAdfGlZHk4
(every body say, when you hear the call you got to get it underway)
Sorry, that phrase made me have a bad 1980s flashback. I'm better now.
28th Jun 2012 2:01am
