I really don't know....

Found
In a world i wish to leave
Lost I would be in the world I yearn for
For crime is what I know
But it is knowledge unwanted lobotomize me
Make me numb
Save me the trouble
Of being a man for hire
Fix it
They say
For money
You need
My own family
Cause the problems
Acquaintance to crime
Yet again
This world is to much
I am no longer a child
The pressure had aged me
In mind and soul
Body just followed along
Growing to fit in
Isn't it enough?
Why can't I be free?
I try
And try
Results appear
But i'm forced back with spears of guilt
I try
Don't I?