deepundergroundpoetry.com
What Remains
I’m not really worth mentioning
Just a glitter on your cheek
That some soft hand brushes away
Like the ocean upon the sand
You’ll watch it glimmer in the light
A dying star
Wishes that fade to dust
You’ll both smile
How did that get there?
Let it fade
When your alone
Those fingers sweep
Brushstrokes
From that cheek to your lips
I was there
And there
This is all that remains [/font]
Just a glitter on your cheek
That some soft hand brushes away
Like the ocean upon the sand
You’ll watch it glimmer in the light
A dying star
Wishes that fade to dust
You’ll both smile
How did that get there?
Let it fade
When your alone
Those fingers sweep
Brushstrokes
From that cheek to your lips
I was there
And there
This is all that remains [/font]
Published 8th Mar 2010
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of course the title is wonderful
and the rhythm created by the repetition of the metaphor
but mainly the meaning, images... so effortless
probably typo's:
'When your alone' --> you're
'You’ll both smile' --> We'll
and the rhythm created by the repetition of the metaphor
but mainly the meaning, images... so effortless
probably typo's:
'When your alone' --> you're
'You’ll both smile' --> We'll
23rd Jul 2010 7:42pm
Thank you,for pointing out the error with 'you're' however it maybe unclearthat i use 'you'll' because the person whom she is speaking to is actually with someone else. :D thank you so much for the feedback i really appricate it~*
27th Jul 2012 2:26am
sound like heartbreak...??? felt a spying eye as the victim of love... a lil chalky on the throat but soft
