self control

 
drinking in the mood
sulking in the light
Moved by the sound of you breathing
deep exhale and sigh
exasperated sadness, and I fall into the depths

My own sorrow matches
your disappointment evident
My heart weeps knowing I caused it

My soul sinks, I disappoint myself
So good at letting myself down
Success scares me
The responsibility of maintaining that kind of life
makes my head spin
I'm not sure I could do it

Then there's the money
and the fear of losing it
I'm reckless, and I'm frightened I would squander it

My control over myself isn't good
daily there is an override in me
And on autopilot, I do what I would not

sacred understanding
The honesty of the moment,
I just can't handle it