And yet

     
You fucked me over like      
nothing mattered      
while I stood like      
a Valkyrie over      
your body      
ready to      
dick kick      
anyone      
     
who wanted to hurt you.      
     
But now I’m the one      
who wants to hurt you.      
     
So I’ll step      
into an embrace      
I use to think was sacred      
   
long enough for      
you to smell my      
shampoo and the      
Bath and Body Works      
Japanese Cherry Blossom      
body butter      
on my soft      
warm skin      
and remember how    
you melted there  
     
And I’ll let you      
feel less bitter      
tears against your      
five o clock shadow      
as you curl      
around      
my restless body      
     
do you remember      
when you remarked      
how tiny I really was      
and I blustered about      
what a big girl I am      
     
but my waist and      
your thigh      
were the same      
measurement      
     
As tall and strong as I am      
I need a safe place to hide      
     
You.      
     
You were my safe place.      
     
And I hope it fucking hurts      
you to know      
I took cannons in the back      
to cover your heart      
with my body      
     
while you stabbed me    
with rusted sentiment.      
     
I hope you know      
my passions were      
a gift I gave      
to someone      
I deemed      
     
trustworthy.      
     
I hope you remember      
how I lifted you up      
in spirit      
so I could see your      
eyes      
as      
our      
bodies      
crashed together      
     
And, baby,      
I once stood in front of you      
ready to kick a bitch      
if they wanted to hurt you      
     
And now I want      
     
To hurt      
     
You.      
     
(exhale)      
     
I wouldn’t.      
     
Ok.      
     
I fucking wouldn’t.      
     
I wouldn’t “fuck you like it doesn’t matter”      
     
Because      
you always mattered      
     
You.      
Always      
Mattered      
     
to me