It Started Out As Fun

It started out as fun
Just a few hundred bucks
Sometimes I played I won
Mostly I lost which sucks
 
Maybe a roll of the dice
Or a spin of the wheel
Double down once or twice
The lights and sound appeal
 
Adrenaline had me hooked
My heart raced extra fast
But inside I was cooked
I couldn't stop if asked
 
I lost all my money
But I still felt okay
Acting like it was funny
And returned another day
 
Searching for that streak
A chance for a big score
Multiple times a week  
But I lost more and more
 
I had to keep returning
My favorite game black jack
But it became concerning
Always needing this crack
 
The stakes became higher
Playing for bigger amounts
My habit a dumpster fire
Emptying bank accounts
 
I quit trying to win
I seemed to want to lose
That's when troubles begin
These addictions I'd chose
 
Gambling over family
Hiding my dark secrets  
Mood swings and angrily
I suffered these deep cuts
 
That rush I once felt
Long ago it went away
No fun in the cards dealt
My future now I pay
 
I threw away everything
My house and also my wife
I still feel the painful sting
Of devastating my life
 
There's no changing the past
Even though now I'm clean
The fun once felt didn't last
It just erased my dreams