CAN'T GET RIGHT part 3

Yep yep that's right.
It is i says me.
Can't get right.
Aka the B.E.D.
I'm still alive just barely breathing.
Speaking on alot of bullshit.
Shit my eyes just can't stop seeing.
I relocated my residence.
Makes no difference, my thoughts are still hella bent.
Moved back close to family and friends.
Friends? Maybe not so much.
My dad has gone back to despising me since I'm back.  Fuck.
No matter. My time is close at hand.
My body here on earth may be damned.
My soul is with God.
I have no self-esteem no confidence.
Piece by piece it's been depleted like dollars to cents.
By close family, those that i loved and had respect for.
Alone i sit, not much do i have to live for.
I do not care for materialistic items.
All 24/7 i be fighting my demons.
Lust, gluttony and envy are my deadly sins.
Wicked deeds caused by demon seeds on lost souls they love to feeds.
Only thy lord god can intercede.
Some find this hard to believe.
51 years old spent new years eve completely alone.
Got no one to converse with, not even on the damn phone.
All this mess is the same old song.
All i can say is shit happens.
Pessimistic attitude is why i have
Very little friends.
Everything i come into contact with falls apart at the seams.
I wish all this were just a dream.
Could it be a dream within a dream.
Nobody knows but the almighty.
I see nothing but complete mizery  for me.