utterly

 
dwindling thought withering in context  
my mind ceases in ideas and gets angry
withdrawing from the lense
I don't wish to be observed
 
shaken epiphany I am cut off
from who I used to be
evolving utterly different
 
I wonder did that version of me die out of necessity
keening hope she was so beautiful
she was not me but I share her memories
 
grief burdens me, I wonder did I kill her, one thought at a time
drain her essence and discard her in the past
the present knows only me
it's a curious thing, I wonder do they believe in me
 
studious soul, where did I come from
and what was she to me if anything
it's strange, I think is there any other lijke me, lookiing
 
will there be a standin for me someday
will I join the lady lost in eternity
or will I wither in memory
 
perhaps I will forget her utterly
and by that my death complete