deepundergroundpoetry.com
Whatever I think I know of men and love
(for the "How much you think you know a man" comp)
It would be easy to let these words slip softly
into the blood-swollen flesh folds
of a man's most primary
primitive psychology.
To hungrily spit-stroke the length of his ego
with naughtily submissive little upward glances
through doe-like eyelashes
weighted with pop-culture-magazine measures of mascara.
Sure, theoretically I'd have his cock covered:
locked down by letting out
the most comparable
ample leash length;
I could be a fertile overflow -
a treasure of a mistress.
But formulas are useless in speaking natural disasters
you only reach him deep by embodying your force.
Games are for the playful nature, keeping up with romance
hooking harder, chasing an adventure; love, though -
he falls in love
when your polar insides
wrap around all his 9 lives
wherever you are on the timeline
not overthought
nothing under-felt
when he sees you as an equal
[pedestal infatuation is fragile as a flower stem]
when nails traveling bodies
isn't only
about grand finales
where fidelity isn't for property
and there's mutual respect
when laughing is important
when fighting means
you each have minds
when a kiss can have
a thousand moods
when you
are
and he
is
and you
fit.
Yeah, you can make a man fall in some kind of love.
But faced up, what fool would set out to conquer papier mache
when the volcano offers her glory?
__________
P.S. "A watched pot never boils"
-Unknown
__________
It would be easy to let these words slip softly
into the blood-swollen flesh folds
of a man's most primary
primitive psychology.
To hungrily spit-stroke the length of his ego
with naughtily submissive little upward glances
through doe-like eyelashes
weighted with pop-culture-magazine measures of mascara.
Sure, theoretically I'd have his cock covered:
locked down by letting out
the most comparable
ample leash length;
I could be a fertile overflow -
a treasure of a mistress.
But formulas are useless in speaking natural disasters
you only reach him deep by embodying your force.
Games are for the playful nature, keeping up with romance
hooking harder, chasing an adventure; love, though -
he falls in love
when your polar insides
wrap around all his 9 lives
wherever you are on the timeline
not overthought
nothing under-felt
when he sees you as an equal
[pedestal infatuation is fragile as a flower stem]
when nails traveling bodies
isn't only
about grand finales
where fidelity isn't for property
and there's mutual respect
when laughing is important
when fighting means
you each have minds
when a kiss can have
a thousand moods
when you
are
and he
is
and you
fit.
Yeah, you can make a man fall in some kind of love.
But faced up, what fool would set out to conquer papier mache
when the volcano offers her glory?
__________
P.S. "A watched pot never boils"
-Unknown
__________
Published 22nd May 2012
| Edited 3rd May 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 25
reading list entries 10
comments 35
reads 1557
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd May 2012 9:31pm
22nd May 2012 9:04pm
Descriptions abound~"length of his ego"~ hits the nail on the head. the rest of this piece is just as compelling and telling.
You have done nicely here.:-) Strider
You have done nicely here.:-) Strider
22nd May 2012 9:30pm
thank you, Strider. we can't categorize all men this way, probably... but these are major points for me. i'm positive i missed something. [:
Anonymous
22nd May 2012 9:36pm
You are a true treasure and we but paper mache fools eager to gain a forbidden peek of you in your altar high on Teide. Enjoyed!
tornado
tornado
22nd May 2012 9:45pm
well! excessive flattery certainly qualifies as acceptable sacrifice. haha - glad you enjoyed it, tornado. [:
22nd May 2012 11:12pm
Were not worthy...were not worthy. were not worthy....:) great stuff Jestalessa
22nd May 2012 11:46pm
worthy, pah. who ever is?
thanks for the great review on the thread, and for taking time to come back to it here. [:
thanks for the great review on the thread, and for taking time to come back to it here. [:
22nd May 2012 11:28pm
22nd May 2012 11:47pm
23rd May 2012 2:28am
Well Jes , I reading this piece could see so many angles of view and frustration that quickly wittle down to a kind of sigh but the kind of sigh you release in satisfaction , as though you have nailed a particular irritant and then you move on so well and centered even quoting an 'unknown' adage , which , in itself says you are aware too well and comprehend enough not to want to really understand the shallowness of certain issues as such but you simply gather a very good and pointed analagy and transform this into a brilliant piece of poetry , Jes , you even title it with a sense of ' ah it's nothing really , just my thoughts ' lolol but really you are good very good indeed and impressed I am
23rd May 2012 7:35am
you pretty much hit it, diddi! thank you so much for seeing that far in, and for bothering to leave such detailed feedback! [:
23rd May 2012 10:40pm
No problem Jes , I pretty much connect to your writing as it's too original and capable not too really , you are one of only a few I actually am impressed by lol I say it how it is pretty much so anyway keep up these innovations as they are exceptionally good :)
23rd May 2012 3:58am
23rd May 2012 7:36am
23rd May 2012 10:31pm
23rd May 2012 11:30pm
23rd May 2012 11:59pm
Paradigms Ahoy!
So many frogs before the prince?
Without self righting mechanisms of the heart
The heart is sunk
I really did enjoy this write
Good luck with the comp
So many frogs before the prince?
Without self righting mechanisms of the heart
The heart is sunk
I really did enjoy this write
Good luck with the comp
24th May 2012 11:22am
24th May 2012 2:06am
so much depth of insight in this amazing poem...psychological truth telling here...wonderful and WOW!
24th May 2012 11:23am
Anonymous
24th May 2012 1:35pm
The first three lines.
*claps*
That is all :)
*claps*
That is all :)
24th May 2012 2:30pm
haha, she's in there, but there's certainly no reason for her. [:
thank you
thank you
Anonymous
25th May 2012 00:56am
re-read this on my phone at the airport....still one hell of a write.
dp
dp
I was avoiding commenting on this one, because you already have so many comments here.
Just looking at it structurally, the lines of the first verse are too long and can be broken down for better visual effect.
eg. It would be easy to let these words slip softly
into the blood-swollen flesh folds of a man's
most primary primitive psychology.
To hungrily spit-stroke the length of his ego
with naughtily submissive little upward glances
through doe-like eyelashes,
weighted with pop-culture-magazine measures
of mascara.
Visually the rest works :)
The content is provocative and teasing, just like a man would want it to be.
One small thing, just a little confused on this line "But faced up, what fool would set out to conquer papier mache" and what you mean by "but faced up"
A great write. :)
Just looking at it structurally, the lines of the first verse are too long and can be broken down for better visual effect.
eg. It would be easy to let these words slip softly
into the blood-swollen flesh folds of a man's
most primary primitive psychology.
To hungrily spit-stroke the length of his ego
with naughtily submissive little upward glances
through doe-like eyelashes,
weighted with pop-culture-magazine measures
of mascara.
Visually the rest works :)
The content is provocative and teasing, just like a man would want it to be.
One small thing, just a little confused on this line "But faced up, what fool would set out to conquer papier mache" and what you mean by "but faced up"
A great write. :)
25th May 2012 12:11pm
heeey! thank you! i did change that first verse into almost the exact same line breaks you suggested, and then i felt like it should have been more raw so changed it back. but you're probably right.. especially with the video posted, it would be better chopped neatly. [:
hm... and that line, i took a chance on it being understandable, picturing 'faced up' as being faced out to the world, or faced with the decision, standing straight, ready to go... i might have to reconsider it. the most difficult part for me to write was the end. thank you for taking time for this, Indie. always appreciate your eyes. [:
hm... and that line, i took a chance on it being understandable, picturing 'faced up' as being faced out to the world, or faced with the decision, standing straight, ready to go... i might have to reconsider it. the most difficult part for me to write was the end. thank you for taking time for this, Indie. always appreciate your eyes. [:
Anonymous
26th May 2012 8:06am
...Profound. Wonderful job:)
26th May 2012 11:08am
5th Jun 2012 3:52pm
5th Jun 2012 10:11pm
haha, well terribly sorry to have confused you! it was a bit of an expulsion of breath due to that competition. got me a bit riled after a fashion and this is what turned up. feel free to like it, or not... but you should. everybody's doing it. [:
Anonymous
15th Jun 2012 7:08am
So once in awhile I get side tracked and don't read enough of yuppie poetry, and I apologize for that, but I am happy you're here producing studded little gems like this :)
15th Jun 2012 8:04am
aw, you sent the blush over me, ever so slightly. always value your feedback, Aish, thank you [:
Anonymous
15th Jun 2012 8:12am
OMG! Damnedable phone! "Your" poetry, not yuppie poetry, eesh...
12th Jul 2012 9:21am
"To hungrily spit-stroke the length of his ego"
Yesssss ... best line I read today, thank you, you good thing
Yesssss ... best line I read today, thank you, you good thing
haha, thank you! yeh, thought some of us might get that it's the most direct way to a man's head. [:
Anonymous
14th Oct 2016 2:12am
your title drew me in..and then came the jewels
specifically this:
"But formulas are useless in speaking natural disasters
you only reach him deep by embodying your force.
Games are for the playful nature, keeping up with romance
hooking harder, chasing an adventure; love, though -"
reading this after your first two verses really spoke volumes
to me
then this here:
"when he sees you as an equal
[pedestal infatuation is fragile as a flower stem] "
so so true
"when laughing is important
when fighting means
you each have minds "
"when you
are
and he
is
and you
fit. "
so many truths..
and the beauty about them is
the simplicity of it all
like you said..
"not overthought"
yeah...
the simple truth indeed!!!
..
specifically this:
"But formulas are useless in speaking natural disasters
you only reach him deep by embodying your force.
Games are for the playful nature, keeping up with romance
hooking harder, chasing an adventure; love, though -"
reading this after your first two verses really spoke volumes
to me
then this here:
"when he sees you as an equal
[pedestal infatuation is fragile as a flower stem] "
so so true
"when laughing is important
when fighting means
you each have minds "
"when you
are
and he
is
and you
fit. "
so many truths..
and the beauty about them is
the simplicity of it all
like you said..
"not overthought"
yeah...
the simple truth indeed!!!
..
