love me, I'm not real

Add some words to a bucket
and throw them at me
I'll find something unreal in there
tell myself this narrative will stick
like this real world hallucination
isn't all in my head

I colour in the threads of history
embroider them in red
pretend we mattered
because we did
we did
we did
...
didn't we?

If I was any more whipped
I'd be in pieces on the floor
carved up in a macarbe feast
for your particular tastes

So splay me open
inspect these unseen parts of me
it's nothing real
you've already fucked me
in every way that matters
hitting the trifecta won't make us holy

I'm easier to manage
in the dark with our eyes closed
breathing choked and ragged
but that's not real either
we've never been here

Tonight I'll settle for
someone else's tongue inside me
so back to sleep
it's the only place I'm real