i hate-You?

I hate that I was attracted to you.
 
I hate that you affect me.
 
I hate wanting you.
 
I hate it all you see.
 
It started off great.
 
It was so sweet.
 
A twinkle in your eye.
 
I shuffled my feet.
 
Then you asked.
 
I said yes.
 
You wore a suit.
 
I wore a dress.
 
The meal was nice.
 
The talk was brief.
 
Didn’t want to say goodbye.
 
Didn’t want to go to sleep.
 
The night was perfect.
 
Intense was passion.
 
Scared it won’t fit.
 
Learned you wore Magnum.
 
Easy was the glide.
 
Every stroke hit the spot.
 
Increasing the pace.
 
Not wanting you to stop.
 
Then it happened.
 
Without control.
 
My release.
 
Touching your soul.
 
You showed to much.
 
That was not your plan.
 
Why didn’t you say it.
 
Why didn’t I understand?
 
I don’t hate you.
 
Not really you see.
 
I hated that I wanted,
 
More than it could ever be.
 
I sit here thinking of the touch.
 
Of the embrace.
 
I hate that I’m alone.
 
I hate this look on my face.
 
Again, I don’t hate you
 
It was a dream that came to life.
 
It should have stayed a dream.
 
I would have had a better--,
 
Life.