Alia the temptress

The girl wore a black hood. It was darker than all the other outfits that these supposed Christians wore. She was in class somewhere close to where she had been before. Her hands were gripping. Her feet were glued to the ground.  
 
She did not care to be right about anything anymore. She just stared into these people's eyes and saw nothing. Homeless people were selfish apparently. I was a hypocrite, and I was someone that deserved to be yelled at more than anyone else. But it was time for me to do the yelling.
 
“FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I kicked the trash can hard as Hell.  
 
Maybe I am the devil, maybe I am the one who ruins everything. But I don't care. Because no one ever truly knew how to listen. Maybe I'm not any better but I cannot care at this point.
 
“Yeah you like how I just said a bad word or two. Bitch! Bitch!” I keep kicking the trash can.
 
“Fuck you!!!!!!!! Fuck All of you!!!!” I take down their banter saying happy birthday to some person who reminds me that it's never my turn!!!! It's always their turn to speak and be gladly listened to. While my story of trials in life causes grief and heartache and pitiful looks. Fuck them! I really can't take it anymore.  
 
I'm so strong I take their dry erase board off the wall. I take away their microphone and kick it and it hits the wall.
 
I don't have much to say even in my mind. I'm supposed to be nice girl who does all the right things. But I never was good. I was never allowed to just be me…
 
But I'm done. I'm done trying to be something I'm not.
 
I went to church, but I still feel depleted.  
 
People could say it's all my fault, but they don’t know, do they?
 
What it feels to feel as though I'm always at fault…
 
I could scream and scream, but it doesn't matter. I'm just a lousy sinner. I could never be a risen angel. Only a fallen one like Lucifer.
 
How could I even feel okay with Satan going to Hell when that's all I ever felt like to anyone.  
 
A person who could not be fixed. Not appreciated for who I am.
 
Even if I feel I have nothing in me left to give.