deepundergroundpoetry.com
These Lips
These lips are well equipped
To be there for your every kiss
Come rain, shine or anytime
You find yours are .lonely for mine
When your lips are touching mine
I get overcome with desire
Besides the way my body aches
Your lips do set my soul on fire
To be there for your every kiss
Come rain, shine or anytime
You find yours are .lonely for mine
When your lips are touching mine
I get overcome with desire
Besides the way my body aches
Your lips do set my soul on fire
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likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 234
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 10:18am
Beautiful pic.
You portrayed kissing beautifully.
What's a kiss, if it doesn't set your soul on fire! 😊
You portrayed kissing beautifully.
What's a kiss, if it doesn't set your soul on fire! 😊
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Re: Re. These Lips
Re: Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 12:20pm
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 12:05pm
Oh my. This woke me up today. I think this must have been written by a woman whose lips have known love. I hope your life is full. I think you must be as beautiful as your words.
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Re: Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 12:25pm
Your response to my poem has made my heart smile, ❤️ 💙 Thank you, my friend!
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 12:19pm
Moving work! I liked the way the division of the poem into two groups of four lines reflects the symmetries of love.
Essentially, the poem is harmonic, as is love. It is divided into symmetrical groups of four lines, and the language employed is sensuous and romantic. Two and four are even numbers, and here eight is divided evenly into two, suggesting an overall sense of polish and harmony. For example: "Come, rain, shine or anytime / Your find yours are lonely for mine", with "yours" and "mine" being your lips and mine. Or: "Your lips do set my soul on fire." The imagery is of rain and fire, and, of course, of lips. In short, the images deployed are intense and passionate.
Because who would read about lips or intense elements and not think of deep passion? To combine images of fire with lips, for example, immediately suggests passion. Because love is a fire, transmitted through lips. Fires blaze, and smoulder, and destroy, as does love. They suggest, with their beauty, destructiveness, and potential to be harnessed for creative purposes (such as in forgeries, or in helping forests regenerate, or simply keeping people warm or helping them see), a duality between destruction and creation, tender warmth and cruel heat. And when you love someone, well, you can be reborn, yes, you can find that tenderness you sought, but there's always, always the risk they will destroy you, consume you, blast you into cinders.
However, this poem celebrates instead the tenderness and fulfilment we can find in love. The speaker says that "Your lips do set my soul on fire," and they mean it, and not in a bad way. Good job.
Essentially, the poem is harmonic, as is love. It is divided into symmetrical groups of four lines, and the language employed is sensuous and romantic. Two and four are even numbers, and here eight is divided evenly into two, suggesting an overall sense of polish and harmony. For example: "Come, rain, shine or anytime / Your find yours are lonely for mine", with "yours" and "mine" being your lips and mine. Or: "Your lips do set my soul on fire." The imagery is of rain and fire, and, of course, of lips. In short, the images deployed are intense and passionate.
Because who would read about lips or intense elements and not think of deep passion? To combine images of fire with lips, for example, immediately suggests passion. Because love is a fire, transmitted through lips. Fires blaze, and smoulder, and destroy, as does love. They suggest, with their beauty, destructiveness, and potential to be harnessed for creative purposes (such as in forgeries, or in helping forests regenerate, or simply keeping people warm or helping them see), a duality between destruction and creation, tender warmth and cruel heat. And when you love someone, well, you can be reborn, yes, you can find that tenderness you sought, but there's always, always the risk they will destroy you, consume you, blast you into cinders.
However, this poem celebrates instead the tenderness and fulfilment we can find in love. The speaker says that "Your lips do set my soul on fire," and they mean it, and not in a bad way. Good job.
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Re: Re. These Lips
8th Jun 2024 6:47pm
Thank you for your wonderful remarks. I appreciate your feedback very much.
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 3:04pm
Re: Re. These Lips
8th Jun 2024 6:48pm
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 3:55pm
Re: Re. These Lips
8th Jun 2024 6:54pm
Re: Re. These Lips
10th Jun 2024 6:48pm
Re. These Lips
25th May 2024 11:44pm
Re: Re. These Lips