Animosity, Eye-contact, Co-recognition

“Where the fuck have you been”    
   
I snap as you wander tipsy through the door    
my emotions sliced with rage and relief    
   
you were three hours past the time    
you told me you’d be home and I waited    
till worry turned to fear    
then to all the dark images that happen    
when you’re left in gnawing unknowing    
   
images of you being cut up    
mixed with images of you flirting    
fucking someone else    
I project emotions at you as if I’m running    
a cinema in a seedy location    
and all of the miasma of unreasoned fog    
has clouded my vision    
   
You’re more than a little drunk    
the look on your face switched from    
giggling fun    
to pissed off    
because 4am is not the time for fumbled    
greetings after the night you just had    
because you won everything because    
you’re that good    
and I had to work    
after a night of everyone kissing your ass    
the culture shock was almost too much    
   
but maybe you stayed out an    
extra hour just to give me    
and my job the middle finger    
maybe it was simply because buzzing on    
the high of winning was too much    
   
and at this point I didn’t care    
because you were glamour, gowns    
and heels    
and I was worry and rage    
   
I barged across the room    
a madman intent on flinging himself    
from the top of a skyscraper    
   
my thick fingers    
knot your wrists    
stare into the confusion and    
hint of fear in your eyes    
   
I watched you glare defiance    
try to tear your hands from mine    
yet there's no give in my calloused    
handcuffs    
   
I could smell the wine on your breath    
and I know you prefer beer to the    
highfaluting echelon of the cultured class    
because you had clawed your way    
from the bottom    
the top never felt like home    
   
and I had dug myself    
from the grave of generations of failures and alcoholics    
but never had the patience for anything    
other than heavy lifting    
testosterone wouldn’t let me sit still long enough    
to learn much more than how much I hated    
sitting still    
so I burned the hard discipline of    
lifting heavy and fighting anything that would walk    
to cure my insatiable desire    
to quell my inadequacies and to move on from the    
addictions that had set in like diseases    
   
my weakness at your success    
was an abyss    
rage hiding vulnerability that I    
may have lost you to those that were    
“Better than me”    
   
eyes defying each other    
mirrors reflecting back    
broken pieces that just fit    
   
I inhale and hold    
tense shaking muscles    
and rip    
your sequinned dress flutters to    
the floor    
a thousand glittering lights    
dapple your flawless skin    
the growl in my throat    
an ache of desire    
and grateful appreciation    
   
my hands in your hair    
our lips crushed together I taste    
the life of you    
expensive wine and desire    
your hands went to my neck    
our mouths trying to devour each other    
you bite my lip    
   
I pin you to the door    
the muscles in my back ripple    
beneath skin stretched across    
a sculpted canvas designed    
to tear into work that crushes a man over time    
shoulders moulded into machines    
and arms that shaped to be destruction    
when squared toe to toe    
and now    
now  they’re aimed at    
trying to comfort my own damnation    
quiet the demons raging through my body    
most of all    
they’re set to let you know    
I want you    
I want to feel you in every fibre of my being    
   
your soft acquiesce    
is a feral    
“Yes”    
that grunts out as your back slams into timber    
   
you rip my T-shirt    
and I leave traces of me    
beneath your nails    
we dance against our natures    
claw and hiss    
your undergarments disappear in the swipe    
of my meaty hungering hands    
you try to go for my zipper    
I grip your hair    
shake my head as I kneel    
our eyes again ignite the recognition    
of pain buried    
   
I kneel    
to receive the only thing you’ve    
been blessed on this earth to give    
as intimate benediction    
I throw your leg over my shoulder    
slide my work strained fingers    
into the salvation of my wandering    
decimated self    
   
in a time when I could have happily left    
this place    
happily gone down swinging in a grand theatre    
of the macabre and been nothing more    
than a dust mite in the history of nothing    
one more lone gunslinger punching his way    
to oblivion    
the scent of you brings me back to here    
and feels like every rain soaked night    
that decimated a drought    
   
my mouth waters    
because your desire has doused    
my suspicions and quieted the    
treacherous whisper of my mind    
your hands in my hair    
you drag me forward and grind your pussy    
against my stubbled jaw    
my fingers slip inside deep and I angle them    
toward my hungering tongue    
and I wait    
hold the eternity of this moment    
to absolve myself of the sins of my    
betrayer thoughts and unsteady heart    
   
like all things this is a quick    
explosion of hungering need    
and rivulets of your acceptance    
trickle onto my palm    
and down my chin    
the last flutters of your orgasm    
still pulse on my thick scar studded    
fingers    
   
“Fuck me, you beautiful fuck”    
you breathe it out as an entreaty    
to the stars    
to the ceiling    
to me kneeling between your still    
quivering thighs    
your right leg rammed down on my shoulder    
so hard that if I wasn’t there you would collapse    
like moulted skin to the floor    
we fumble a bit through    
passion grazed kisses and breathing each others    
sighs    
until we hit the back of the couch    
and I’m naked    
the dragon on my left arm flaring    
the twin koi on my right thigh swimming on flushed    
skin    
you shimmy a sexy little sashay so your ass    
is on the lounge    
I grab your hands hoist them over my neck    
raise your legs until they rest on my shoulders    
in a split V that trails down to your wet dripping pussy    
   
my cock bounces as I step forward and grab the shaft    
I sliiiiiiiide into the delicious heat of you    
and look up to see your    
lust-plastered sweat-beaded forehead    
you’re looking down    
watching yourself swallow every swollen inch    
of me    
and finally we stare into each other    
connected by everything    
I wrap my arms around your back to help support you    
you push your forehead to mine    
accepting all my flaws    
and broken dreams    
because you are beautiful