ANGRY LOVE

i only wanted
you
and that's all
i ever wanted
and all i do
even now
twenty five years later
is related to you
and my desire for you

you are long gone
but still right here,
haunting my kitchen
while i make
some mundane shit pile
you called
your specialty

your ghost lays
next to me in bed

i watch its chest
rise and fall
and watch its eyelids
and wonder what goes on
behind them

and i know
my love is unrequited
and, yes, it still hurts
and though i've learned to
ignore the massive hole
your tore behind my sternum
and it's all webbed
and crusted over with age
if i dare to touch it
it's as raw and painful
as the day you left

and all of this,
all what i have,
was obtained trying
to fill that deep, ugly gash --

and that was your gift to me
and, i swear, life is the best its ever been
and i love it
and i'm happy
so...

thank you

and fuck you

bitch