Twisted Nursery Rhymes

Peter Piper picked peppers off a pickled tree  
Putting them perched on purple periwinkles that can not be.  
"Pardon me Peter, why did you pick those pickled peppers I pray tell?"  
Because a pickled pepper is properly proportioned to my particular appendage as well.  
   
   
Twinkle, twinkle little star  
Look how naughty you really are  
Up above the sky so high  
Only coming down with a sigh  
What will you do    
In a bed meant for two.  
You giggle and laugh then said  
"It's all up to you"  
What can I do with this star so bright  
"I don't know but your not getting out of this bed tonight."  
   
   
Little Jack Horner  
Sat in the corner  
Eating some curds and cream  
Along came a thought  
with a pie that he bought  
"Boy did I make Mary Scream"