I stand, you chase

I watch you chase empty fixes
let the anxiety fade from your grasp
and breathe in a reality that only exists
on the other side of the drug cocktail you mixed

I can't remember the last time
you fucked me
with nothing but blood in your veins
and I wonder if you like me better
when you're only half in the game

But then you look at me
like I'm the end of your world
like I'm the beginning of everything
like I'm the spark at the start of the universe

And I don't fucking understand
how you can walk the line
between fucked up and loved up
because I can't walk that line with you

And you can't understand
just how far down I'll take you
if I fall

You think you know me
but no one knows me
and I can't shoot you up
with the way the darkness
claws at me
just to make you understand
that sometimes I feel like death
I'm human form
just waiting to take a life

So instead I watch you chase empty fixes
let the anxiety fade from your grasp
and breathe in a reality that only exists
on the other side of the drug cocktail you mixed
that fixes nothing at all