THROUGH TIMES EVAPORATIVE  HEALING TOUCH    (time, date & place unknown?)

       
         
my heart  my mind        
my eyes        
hold tears        
they cannot yet release        
express  nor cry        
long trapped beneath        
my early childhood s        
and adolescent s        
now long passed        
long lapsed        
though somehow        
still ongoing        
haunted  crumbled ruins        
entombed in sleep        
long buried and hid away        
so deeply self compartmentalized        
in subconscious paralysis        
long frozen from some        
long suppressed early fear        
or long forgotten        
inner pain        
still trapped  contained        
too hard to face        
or look at for long      
such a lame excuse      
for simply not having        
enough balls to deal with it      
but still hopefully awaiting        
some future new wound or tear        
to come release  expose        
evaporate  repair and heal them all        
so that better understanding        
acceptance and forgiveness        
of others as well as myself        
may come at so long last      
to heal both present and past        
to finally release  liberate        
and completely free me        
from my early childhood        
and adolescent years        
now long crumbled ruins        
once and for all        
forever more        
so that it may give me        
or show me how to find        
enough inner strength  courage        
freedom and wisdom      
to simply let go        
and move on        
with my life        
with my all        
just as i have been and still am        
slowly  but steadily        
ever increasingly doing      
over these past twenty  
to thirty plus      
something years        
of intentionally striving        
and trying my best        
in so many different ways      
with every passing day        
and fleeting year        
here in my        
still unforeseen        
present day to day life s continued        
ever mysterious unfoldings        
now finally here        
at long last        
in my        
still steadily        
ever increasingly        
learning  growing  evolving        
life s journey s        
so much brighter now        
much more free and joyous        
continued path        
of perpetually sustained        
ongoing fearless change      
through the mindful practice  
of gentle self forgiveness  
through learning how  
to sense and know  
when it s time  
for letting go      
and joyfully      
moving on     
all while  
consciously  
living in  
and    
staying present
in this ever
flowing
fluid  
moment s
never ending
constant
now