Indecent indifference

There are no rules that bind my imagination  
It worries her, how easily I snap in and out of it  
The nauseating fear of encountering something unholy  
Numbs her emotions and closes her legs  
 
I am famished and ravenous  
Disconnected from reality for the sake of ecstasy  
Even if it's just momentarily, the spiritual adultery is no joke  
Especially not in the face of love bespoke  
 
She excites more than my senses can tame  
Makes me squeal like a pig and writhe like a snake  
But I'm a victim of habit, mindless and automatic  
Seeking satisfaction in the arms of misery instead  
 
A familiar countenance, a beautiful bass, leather and lace  
Prying eyes, clothes, and memories; imagined fakes  
No reason to hold a candle to any of it, not for me  
In my dreamworld, I'll still grab their hair and fuck their face  
 
They're people I know, I meet, I see  
Drawing their curves and mapping their frames  
To later be used for something mundane  
Rip and fuck and ravage the visions I create  
 
I want to blame everyone else for the way I am  
And forget that I have any thing to do with my past  
Every time we fell apart I'd wander these awful landscapes  
I'd rather be castrated than lose her over this.