Asphalt lamentations

I was on my way    
to meet friends for    
pretension and bad champagne    
   
but the song you sang,  
the one that    
made made me all melty    
on our first day    
as an official couple,    
   
came on the radio    
while I flipped channels    
   
and I was back there,  
back then,    
when you were  
(inhale)  
when you were    
proud to be my man  
   
so I pulled into a    
Walgreens parking lot and    
ugly cried so hard    
so long,    
and so dramatically,    
someone from the pharmacy    
actually came out to see if I    
needed medical attention    
   
I lied and said my cat died    
and I was on my period,    
blew my nose    
on some Chick-Fil-A    
napkins I had crumpled    
in the glove box,    
and smiled until she went away.    
   
I was still at risk for full-blown shit-losing,    
so I went inside,    
bought a Diet Coke    
and sat in my car for a  
long    
long time    
   
phone silenced,    
I leaned my head back    
against the seat    
as traffic ignored me,    
and    
   
I couldn’t think    
of a single reason    
to turn the ignition key,  
to move forward,    
to leave this stupid parking lot,    
and this stupid bullshit    
phase of grief  
   
I couldn’t think    
of anything    
but you.