The Real Me

(A collaboration by Crimsin and Indie)

You want to see the real me? Peel away the skin
The muscles and sinews, through veins and arteries
To the skeletal form beneath. There you will find me
An animated corpse that isn’t aware that it’s dead yet
While it can’t bear the stench of living, and this thing called life.
I am faceless, voiceless, genderless, powerless
Against the hands that pull me down and pierce me
With shame and memories no needle can delete
Long forgotten is the idea that life should be fair
It’s not a part of my vocabulary, everyone is just doing
What they have to do to survive…

Fighting tooth and nail for this thing called life
Hanging on by a thread I slip and fall
Into the merciless arms of the demented sea
Where I’m lost, flailing to the surface
Gulping for air, yet drowning in my own vomit
Gazing into the marred mirror of self destruction
I see my skeletal remains
Ashes laid bare by the scathing acid
Thrown in my face by the hateful mob
That despises my kind

The void that pierces my flesh
Is a life half lived
No needle nor drink
Can cover the scars that mark me
Inside I’m a beautiful monster
Searching for its niche
Tracing circles in the sands
Of my mind, I find a lovely creature
Misunderstood by society…  
Do you want to see me? I’ve flayed myself open for you
Peeling the layers of skin away without shame

I’m open, exposed and waiting for judgment
Cowardice in conflict with my temporary bravery
And all I want to do is lower my defiant face and run
As my brain ticks with memories of the past
To where I was nothing more than a vessel for violence
In an ocean of hate, tossed around like a buoy in a storm
Torn from its tethering to be set adrift into the nothing
And this life has been meaningless, an endless road
To a fist in my face, and a hand up my skirt
Rum and cigarette stains like bruises on my neck
From breaths that whispered dirty catchphrases
With the promise of a good time… for them

And still, I am bleeding hope; faith in better days
A light I can’t extinguish between the ups and the downs
That leave me gasping on the floor
Praying someone will see the real me
Behind the façade and bravado of an angry young woman
That wants to see the silver lining of life
That people are always talking about
While I’m holding back, hiding behind a challenging smirk
Waiting for it to all go to hell again, like it always does.
You want to see the real me? Peel away the skin
The muscles and sinews, through veins and arteries
To the skeletal form beneath. There you will find me…