Wish

I wish I understood nuance
And could hear through
All the riddles of this world

I wish I could see
The very black and white
Mingled in all the
Shadows of grey

I wish my mind didn’t
Dance around
All these personal death threats

I wish I didn’t fear
My own face in the mirror

I wish I didn’t fear
Peering past the window curtains

I wish my mind would be arrested,
Rather than rob me of nights
And months of sleep

I wish my heart would
Maintain a steady beat
And not remind me of
The death we all will meet

I wish that I could eat
I wish that I couldn’t
Burn with this inconsistent and
Unnecessary rage

I wish that I could speak
I wish that a listening ear
Might actually hear

I wish I didn’t constantly dwell
In past memories
And my future grave

I wish I could just laugh
Light-hearted
Even for a day

I wish I could spill
All the words I meant to say