deepundergroundpoetry.com
untitled and unfinished
Unsure of how much longer i can be a player in this game of pretend
My gut is screaming that things with us are just not right
My heart is wanting to build a real life with you
You have so many secrets,
I've still yet to see all of you exposed and in the light
All I get are contradicting fragments of you
You've become exceptionally good at not letting too much of the real you show
The ability to lie straight to a person's face is cold yet impressive
I truly wish it wasn't true
but there's so much more that you don't think I know
You don't desire me the way you did before
The playful affection you used to show has all but went down the drain
The time you spend keeping yourself distracted is getting longer and more distant
The way we communicate,play, laugh and touch is different
nothing about us is the same
Is it me who has failed to keep you happy?
Or are you finally losing the ability the keep putting on the show?
Did you feel obligated to let this continue under false intention
Were you ever here because you actually wanted me
Or because of everything I’ve done for you do you feel like your presence is something that you owe
I've poured and just about emptied myself out for you
Stripped and exposed myself down to the bones and soul
Allowing myself to finally be vulnerable and give this a chance
Allowing myself to believe that I could finally be whole
I know you are not happy
its more than what you explain,
its written all over your face
I don't want you to stay if this isn't real to you
If there is some other place you would rather be
I need you to be a man and tell me that you need your space
I can only speak for myself
I wouldn't dare put words in your mouth or assume your feelings or intent
We are now at a cross road and as much as I want this to work
I can't keep trying to love a ghost who is barely even trying, a ghost that is discontent
My gut is screaming that things with us are just not right
My heart is wanting to build a real life with you
You have so many secrets,
I've still yet to see all of you exposed and in the light
All I get are contradicting fragments of you
You've become exceptionally good at not letting too much of the real you show
The ability to lie straight to a person's face is cold yet impressive
I truly wish it wasn't true
but there's so much more that you don't think I know
You don't desire me the way you did before
The playful affection you used to show has all but went down the drain
The time you spend keeping yourself distracted is getting longer and more distant
The way we communicate,play, laugh and touch is different
nothing about us is the same
Is it me who has failed to keep you happy?
Or are you finally losing the ability the keep putting on the show?
Did you feel obligated to let this continue under false intention
Were you ever here because you actually wanted me
Or because of everything I’ve done for you do you feel like your presence is something that you owe
I've poured and just about emptied myself out for you
Stripped and exposed myself down to the bones and soul
Allowing myself to finally be vulnerable and give this a chance
Allowing myself to believe that I could finally be whole
I know you are not happy
its more than what you explain,
its written all over your face
I don't want you to stay if this isn't real to you
If there is some other place you would rather be
I need you to be a man and tell me that you need your space
I can only speak for myself
I wouldn't dare put words in your mouth or assume your feelings or intent
We are now at a cross road and as much as I want this to work
I can't keep trying to love a ghost who is barely even trying, a ghost that is discontent
Published 19th Oct 2023
Author's Note
This has sat unfinished in my drafts and after several attempts to bring closure to this piece I have decided just to post it as is
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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27th Oct 2023 3:43am
Sadly, this seems as though you see someone stringing you along. Someone that has been there all along, and that you can see through their act. i like the deep, heart-felt feelings of expression in this, as it captures what a woman truly longs for, in a relationship. I just have appreciation for how women feel in such things, because it's important, so I can empathize, to a degree. There is a need for intimacy and bond, in a relationship, and quite simply, many men don't get it. Together, man and woman are supposed to be a team, a unit, willing to sacrifice. If that's not there, a woman will always feel it. I have compassion for such yearning and desire, and I see some of that here. Anyway, this is deeper than one would consider, in terms of how relationships can go for women. Good job of conveying that point of view and sharing.
