getting back on track

I'm not gonna lie
I'm pissed
it shouldn't have happened
...but it did
it's a mess...
well...I am...in some respects
...in others...I'm solid
I could rail at the injustice of it all
rake him thoroughly over the coals
categorically listing the sordid details
...to what end?
it is what it is
and I'm still standing
holding my ground
I've come out of the dark & my light is still shining...
...if a little diminished
picking up pieces of illusion serves no useful purpose
in the end...
...I let him through the gate
foolish me...
soooo...
...leave the scraps where they lay
...gone...
but never forgotten
it's a lesson I'd rather not forget
and I can take consolation in this...
yeah...I fuck up all the time
but I rarely make the same mistake twice
even when I ache in every bone & every pore
I get up...
...in my own time...
reclaiming & reforming my life
I need to revisit the remnants of before...
who I was...
...where I was headed..
restart things set aside at his insistence
{my self-appointed therapist & dietition}
routine helps my ADHD brain
{fact...not phrase}
gotta get back at it
no guilt...
...just get going
consider it time already served
with a commuted sentence
like the phoenix inked on my back...
I always rise from my ashes




Still working through the rubbish...