deepundergroundpoetry.com
Teasing Stars
Perhaps it's an omen
some token of what's to be
Skies bleeding fire
while thunder crawls from the hills
The books warned us
about the triumph of evil
her cruelest ravaging winds
the scream that shatters crystal
to the choke of time's tears
But I don't believe all that I read
I press my heart to the window
watching fireworks
almost fooling the rain
and wonder what God
really sees
some token of what's to be
Skies bleeding fire
while thunder crawls from the hills
The books warned us
about the triumph of evil
her cruelest ravaging winds
the scream that shatters crystal
to the choke of time's tears
But I don't believe all that I read
I press my heart to the window
watching fireworks
almost fooling the rain
and wonder what God
really sees
Published 16th Sep 2023
| Edited 18th Sep 2023
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Sep 2023 1:05pm
If this were my poem, I'd delete 'cruel' from Line 7. It's unnecessary for the sense of the sentence.
Thanks for the comment. Ajay.
Have decided to up the ante and use cruelest, an adjective is needed there to govern speed and maintain flow.
Have decided to up the ante and use cruelest, an adjective is needed there to govern speed and maintain flow.
18th Sep 2023 7:27pm
