A Treasure House of Goodies

His thoughts and memories work overtime    
Stuck in the prison of his own mind    
Clanging his cage of pent up rage    
He spews obsessions, untruths and arrogance      
As I listen    
No longer intently    
Sometimes with only half an ear    
Using television or music in the background to drown out my sorrow      
As he tells me his brain is a treasure house of goodies    
He has a plan for when he’s sprung from the psych ward    
Medication free    
Crack binges    
And sex    
He asks me if I want to travel    
As I hear the convoluted designs he pours out of his mind and mouth    
I can no longer concern myself with wanting a future with him    
Traveling with him is out of the question    
I travel in my mind instead    
Go back to a time when he was gentle and full of humility    
A perfect gentleman    
Opening doors    
Making me smile    
Today I tell him no    
To everything    
Because letting him in is dangerous    
Not the kind of danger I want or need    
So in order to preserve myself I say I no longer love him    
And that I don’t have any memories of us    
While my heart breaks      
Tears of anger and anguish trickle down my face    
As I hang up the phone      
Again