deepundergroundpoetry.com
Contract to Bear the Light
it ain't Robert Johnson
and crossroads
or Daniel Johnston
or faust
nor is it the Venus project
though,
the first slice of the mornings son
serenades its shadow
it's a contract with fractions
spun two thirds on a fractal
it's in my very name
the unbearable lightening
of being,
to tantrically contort
a single seditious momentum
aroud an impossible spiral
life is in itself the agreement
rebelling from the unified field
of nothing
seperation is grace
and the communion of the initiate
is the bargaining of the infinite
for an instance
of true independence
and crossroads
or Daniel Johnston
or faust
nor is it the Venus project
though,
the first slice of the mornings son
serenades its shadow
it's a contract with fractions
spun two thirds on a fractal
it's in my very name
the unbearable lightening
of being,
to tantrically contort
a single seditious momentum
aroud an impossible spiral
life is in itself the agreement
rebelling from the unified field
of nothing
seperation is grace
and the communion of the initiate
is the bargaining of the infinite
for an instance
of true independence
Published 15th Apr 2012
| Edited 12th May 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 831
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Like I said when I saw it in the competition & I had to PM my comments:
"Man that's a good poem in that deal with Satan thread. I don't want to clutter up a competition or sway it with extra comments, but damn. Great puns like the unbearable lightening and morning's son. Great peppering of science with the fractals, two thirds spins, unified field, and tantric contortions of momentum. Best of all is the line, the main line stating that life itself is the agreement. I'm not sure if the literal minded will understand the subtlety of this statement...."
But great job. Pact with the Devil indeed. We spend so much time projecting good and evil as if they were persona whom we can obey, love, hate, beseech or petition, trying to control our pains and misfortunes. But life isn't as Hollywood as that. Survival and attempts to have independent volition in this world, are the only pacts we make. Mortality is the what the ticket costs. One way ride with a bridge out somewhere farther ahead.
It's going in the reading list.
"Man that's a good poem in that deal with Satan thread. I don't want to clutter up a competition or sway it with extra comments, but damn. Great puns like the unbearable lightening and morning's son. Great peppering of science with the fractals, two thirds spins, unified field, and tantric contortions of momentum. Best of all is the line, the main line stating that life itself is the agreement. I'm not sure if the literal minded will understand the subtlety of this statement...."
But great job. Pact with the Devil indeed. We spend so much time projecting good and evil as if they were persona whom we can obey, love, hate, beseech or petition, trying to control our pains and misfortunes. But life isn't as Hollywood as that. Survival and attempts to have independent volition in this world, are the only pacts we make. Mortality is the what the ticket costs. One way ride with a bridge out somewhere farther ahead.
It's going in the reading list.
16th Apr 2012 2:01pm
bragg im beyond thrilled that this more expansive view of that "contract" is recognized by you...how insulting to reduce satan(god i hate that word) to red heat forked tales and run of the mill morality.. so much more fun and complicated than that!
16th Apr 2012 5:08pm
lightbaron
Power! More power!
Took me two reads to gulp it it
and then one more to take it all in.
'its a contract with fractions
spun two thirds on a fractal '
It holds such brute power.
and
'life is in itself the agreement
rebelling from the unified field
of nothing '
Like Mr. Braggman has pointed out
this is a gem of a thought and utterly
thought provoking.
I would however suggest an edit.
A few typos and punctuation in a strictly
grammatical sense.
Great write.
Envy. Respect. Awe
Sumeet
Power! More power!
Took me two reads to gulp it it
and then one more to take it all in.
'its a contract with fractions
spun two thirds on a fractal '
It holds such brute power.
and
'life is in itself the agreement
rebelling from the unified field
of nothing '
Like Mr. Braggman has pointed out
this is a gem of a thought and utterly
thought provoking.
I would however suggest an edit.
A few typos and punctuation in a strictly
grammatical sense.
Great write.
Envy. Respect. Awe
Sumeet
19th Apr 2012 5:11am
thanks mr wand...I went back in an think I caught the typos...thanks for your eyes my friend
17th Apr 2012 12:53pm
When I read Sumeet's comment and then look at it again I realize one thing. In the contest it was obvious that it was about a pact with the devil, so the poem was really clear. Here outside the contest it might be too subtle to get without re-reading, or at least part of the way through the 1st reading.. Therefore I do have one suggestion. Perhaps the title could be something like "2/3 - A Pact with the Devil" or "The Pact" or "Devilish Pact" or "Mortal Pact" or some such thing to put us back into the mind frame that this was in. It's strength partially relied upon standing out from the expectations on the subject. So if you set the expectation in the title, the reader gets to feel the difference of this new pact right from the 1st word.
19th Apr 2012 5:13am
Mr. Bragg- thanks for the suggestion. I thought 2/3rds was enough ( I have a pretty deep, sorta ridiculous connection with that fraction, and figure the equation equaling = .666 might be enough)
but your right, a more specific title would probably help along the potential impact. Thanks again!
but your right, a more specific title would probably help along the potential impact. Thanks again!
12th May 2012 00:07am
Amazing poem, I can relate.
Misspelling occurred I believe, last verse, should be "separation" right?
Misspelling occurred I believe, last verse, should be "separation" right?
12th May 2012 2:58am
thank ya kindly selah- quite tickled that you could relate...and also thanks for the typo eyes!
