I, Unfurled

I'm intoxicated by the beauty of your words. Such delicate description. I was so excited to see you posted a poem. 🌺 Your words are ✨ magic

You're a truly lovely force, Debbie. It's always a pleasure to see you as well!!

I'm not proficient in this particular style/format of poetry, so your extremely kind high praise is meaningful and deeply appreciated.

Thrilled you found a small bit of magic! 🪄🔮

Much love,
🌹B

Is that you reading your poem in the video?!!
Voice eloquently blossomed your words with life. Was mesmerizing.

You are very welcome. The beautiful architecture of your words is a place I love to visit. You are an inspiration and the loveliest person.

Yes, that's me!
Thank you, ma'am!
You're the kindest bear, indeed!!  ;)

Glad you enjoyed my spoken word audio. I've tried my best throughout the years to hone and better my skill there!

🌹💙-B

Wonderful poem
Greetings to you

Thank you for that thoughtful feedback. I appreciate it.

🌹B

Three cheers and  applause for  
you
Be ye brave in seeking  
something new.  
To be sure, there be no
 no crime  
in solving the mystery of  
rhyme.  
   
hugs,  
buddhakitty.

It's my gazillion attempt.... I think I've hit my bar....yikes!

Thanks for stopping by and for being kind, bk
Your encouragement is appreciated!


🌹 💙 💙 💙

Your opening stanza has a rather mellifluous combination of alliteration, syllabic proportion and subtle rhyme. Its something few of us are going to be born with, we develop skill until it flows naturally from feeling to thought to page. Your second stanza utilizes terrific metaphor, to me, again it is subtle. A lot of times, myself included, we are a bit too textbook in the usage of metaphor, rather than letting it hint at that transformative quality. In your third stanza, your usage of commas create pause in the same sort of way, the skill that becomes so naturally fluid. Descriptors are excellent here to bring the piece to life, such as heady, wafts, burst, explode, stark, having a command of the language, we find the right tool that fits each layer of the unfolding. I particularly enjoy the tight tangent in the first line of the final verse. Leaving the final line on it's own, it is like that final bow. Having command of the canvas is seeing it not only for the stage and spotlight it is, but also a place to be naked and vulnerable.

Styxian has that wonderful balance of stage presence, but honest vulnerability that engages and resonates at depth. I appreciate him too.

You're awesome. Your positivity and the way you show caring to others always touches me. I'm glad you included the audio. 💖

Daniel,
Your wonderfully rich and impressive feedback has my head spinning! I love love love how you're able to hone in on the positives, making me feel like I've really accomplished more than what my nagging self doubt usual has me believe. You've been a big influence, so it feels amazing to have your thoughtful, well thought out critique to continue to learn from and to forever cherish.

My audio wasn't quite where I wanted it but I recorded it off the cuff, so it'll have to do for the comp! I am definitely keeping your takeaways here in my own mental arsenal, for whenever I feel myself doubting more than I should.

Thank you for sharing and for all the time  you've given.
I hope you can feel how it's not been wasted!

Much love and gratitude,
🌹 💙
-Susan

I'm never satisfied with my audios! I can't ever get all the background noises out lol plus I have to delete all my inhaled breaths, the laptop catches everything. On Salt I was editing the audio for 3 hours. On the Absence of Magic it was more like 8 hours of slowly clipping out noises ugh.

It's my sincere pleasure honey. 😘💖🙏🏻 You rock believe in yourself! I'm shit at most things I nearly set myself on fire changing my engine oil but when it comes to writing I have the confidence of some buff Greek godly dude. Ahaha

Thanks for feeling the language and the metaphoric essence, MB

It's an appreciated effort, to see your comments. I am glad you found something that you might have enjoyed.

Be well and be safe out there, friend
🌹💙
B

great job on unfurling, it has a nice flow and it's erotic or suggestive

Bingo!!
You're awesome, Thanks Me
(giggles)

🌹 💙 💙

Lovely garden erotica.
❣️🙏🏽

I simply adore this comment ... glad you felt the allure KP.
Think of me if/when you plant any flowers!

🌹 💙 🌹

Ok Blue are flowers supposed to be arousing or have I been paralyzed to long
Great read, awesome poem
Love and light
Ron xx

Well, you know how I feel about roses...So it had to be slightly scintillating.... at least!!  Love that you found the passionate ambiance, that makes me smile! ☺  

I deeply appreciate the RL add and all your complete loveliness...  
🌹 💙 💙 🌹

A secret garden I would enthusiastically tour!  

It's treasures are abundant and affect a complete sensory stimulating experience ... In the very best of ways... ;))  
   
   
Thank you for the kind words and generous RL, MS!    
I am wonderfully appreciative.    
🌹 💙 - B

You are my passion and I'm drunk on your love.  Keep on writing you strong beautiful smart sexy woman.

Don't get too too drunk, it's all about moderation... lol. Thank you for partaking in some libations, Francisco! There's nothing better than feeling the passion —I'm so glad you did.

🌹B

Now that you let the passion out you need to do something crazy like go to a nudist colony or go streaking.

lol...
That's my usual weekend.... ha!..

Thanks, Francisco
🌹

We can do these things together,  LOL.

Dear BV,

Lovely. Positively lovely. I really enjoyed imagining the beauty of this secret garden with just enough sexy to spice things up. It’s wonderful that you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone and pushed the boundaries with the rhyming style. We only get better with practice. And of course I, as in yours truly, say that meaning “do as I say not as I do”. 😉
I wish you all the best for this comp. It’s a beautiful subject resulting in a beautiful poem. H🌷

Thanks for the lovely sentiments and motivational encouragement, Honoria!  
   
It's a bit scary and leaves me feeling somewhat vulnerable to chase after a format that I'm not 100 comfortable with but I agree with you...Yes, practice makes perfect!! So I try my hand at rhyming when I think of it!    
.... Maybe someday I'll get the hang of it enough that it flows more naturally ... lol.  
   
I very much appreciate your generous RL and the well wishes sent for the comp. It means the world to me that you found something you enjoyed within this little entry - 🙏🏻  
   
Have a beautiful weekend, dear lady  
(Good luck with NaPo!)  
🌹 💙 🌹

hahaha... Now you have me wondering if I should change my avatar to the comic style one that was AI generated .. It totally has me pictured as exactly what you described... (it looks nothing like me!).. Omg dying laughing..... 😂 😂 😂  
 
Thank you for the belly laughs and the very kind words plus the awesome RL add, which I feel especially grateful for.  
 
I hope you know how difficult this style of writing is for me, it's not how my mind works nor does it flow from my imagination onto the page in a mostly smooth creative way that I'm so familiar with.... It's usually a damn struggle that I write and then rewrite and probably rewrite... So my insecurities and self doubt have all the time in the world to poke and prod me!  - Just a closer look into why I feel so much appreciation for your comments-  
 
💙B

Beautiful composition Bluevelvete,

The music is great. It lifts your poem into my imagination hugely. I like your delivery.
Unexpected sound to your voice. Exciting to hear sound on the words.

I'm impressed.

Regards,
BITS

I have kind of developed a very strong love/hate appreciation with my spoken word creations that I've added to several poems here on DUP within my catalog. I have tried honing my skills, taken advice and really tried to improve my performances over the almost three years I've been on site, so you'd think I'd feel better about my final results, which most of the time I do end up feeling ok with. However, this one was a bit rushed and sloppy but I think it'll do for the comp entry, I hope, anyway! ... lol.  

Your kind feedback is just lovely; I'm beyond giddy that someone with your skillset found a little bit of something you enjoyed and could appreciate within this piece. I personally struggle because I know there are poems of mine that have far better spoken word accompaniments, so it bugs me that this is your first impression but hey, that's just the way life goes sometimes... hahaha... 😏  

Thank you again for taking the time and for being generous with your feedback.  (I hope 'unexpected' sound of my voice meant it was tolerably ok and not that you were disappointed... lol...😯eek!)  

I've been keeping my eye out for you in my updates as I really do look forward to reading/listening to what you have in store for us in the days ahead.  

Warmest regards and much love sent across the pond,  
🌹 💙  
B

Your voice is great, merely unexpected in a nice way.

Point me towards any of your work that you would like me to read/listen to, if you feel you have spoken word that you would prefer me to hear. I'll glady give a listen.

Regards,
BITS

A wonderful terrific poem with swell nature and romance blended, beautifully painted in words. Kudos!!

Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.

I am absolutely grateful for your visit. Thank you so much for leaving kindness here.

🌹B

This is a very tender piece. addressing the subtle mysteries of human beings.
I enjoy the way the poem flows as softly as the words ring out.
Regards
James

Thanks, James.
I appreciate your feedback and the time you've taken to pop in.

Be well and be safe out there
-B

Hi B

It's always a bit scary writing outside the comfort box. LOL
I would have never known. You always bring a wonderful flair of words
that compliment each other and give such beautiful imagery. You never disappoint:)

Thanks for posting and good luck in the comp!!

Hey there, lady!
It's really nice to see you! 🦋

I've been scatterbrained and apparently missed these kind comments.... Bad Blue!!! That brain fogginess is such a nightmare to get past. My apologies.

These are such marvelously kind and inspiring sentiments, A. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you've taken the time to drop in, leaving them permeate.... I'm so grateful!

Hope you and yours are doing well.

Much love and warmest regards,
🌹 💙

Such a smooth sultry cadence to this piece
Youre word choice is splendid such beauty
You're use of metaphors is absolutely genius
Excellent vivid visual work of art sweet sister

Your comments are some awesome deliciousness, dear lady. It's so freaking good to have you here! You and your wickedly epic ink have been sorely missed, your poetic style it's such a breath of fresh air- adding a uniquely cool essence to the collective DUP experience.

It makes me smile wide to have you stop by and leave me your thoughtful feedback....Glad you felt it and enjoyed!

Much love,
🌹 💙 💙

When I listened/read this, I was like wow!  This is great stuff!  Your voice matches the write.  (Are voices changed/filtered in these recitals?  I have a horrible voice!).
It's an uplifting poem. Grand.

And then I read your notes...  well hell. Then I smiled a bit (which hurts my sour face!).
Yours turned out well shinier than mine.  Better.  You do lovely well.

Thanks for seeing and hearing me, Mark (that's all me, btw... no voice changes whatsoever only background noise was diminished) It was just a little attempt at entering a comp, so I'm happy you felt like it worked. I'm far from shiny... Maybe I'm lucky enough to catch the sunlight once in awhile...

Much obliged for your kind words and visit
🌹 💙
B

Fantastic, I love the alliteration. I am always so envious of your vocabulary.

Your rhyming skills are excellent. And being from the UK I always find the American accent both sensual and mysterious.

I think we Americans feel likewise of your accents, too!! There're definitely purr worthy, indeed... lol

Thank you for making me smile with your lovely comments, it's nice to be appreciated for my vocabulary. I attribute it to the fact that I really love to read.... I guess it brushes off!

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading/listening and took the time to say so...It means so much to me!

Warm regards,
🌹 💙
B

The sensations this ignited in my emotions and body blossomed into the art you planted. The seedlings within your words grow into an awe-inspiring forest of verdant and sensual beauty. I felt the depth of this like a well-nurtured orchid growing in an exotic Amazonian rainforest where rare and treasured flora flourishes. Each twist of imagery and phrasing was a miracle of wonder. And I must say your feminine spirit shines here with soft but courageous tonalities of light and love. There is a seasoning here that gathers in my heart and spices my soul. Love the sheer virtuosity here like an orchestra of words. I listened to your reading after reading with my eyes. Your timbre seduced me into the nakedness of a spiritual dream that I never wanted to end. Your voice is a call to the natural world within.

Much love,
John

You are absolutely incredible, my darling friend.
-xoxoxoxo-

Thank you for being here with me, it's a deep and vast pleasure.
🌹💙 -Susan

Utterly mesmerizing

Thanks, Walter

I appreciate you stopping by
🌹💙

Awwww shucks.... thanks, T

That's enormously kind of you to say and greatly appreciated.

Hope you are doing well.
🌹💙 - B