Hell on Earth

Head pounding,
Eyes hurting,
Fingers twitching,
Soul draining,
Life failing,
Food selling,
Selling fast, fast, fast,
But will I last?
Will I last to the end of the day?
I feel myself fading away,
Losing consciousness,
Running on fumes from weariness,
Blocking out excess stimuli,
Trying so hard not to lay down and cry,
One more screw loose and I might try to die,
Or make someone else perhaps die.
I don't want to do it,
But I do imagine it,
Because others fill me with ire,
They make me feel like shit, that I conspire
Empty plans of what I would do if I were so inclined,
But I try to be more refined,
Or at least polite and professional and kind
I hope they do find.
But those thoughts are what get me through the day,
As I'm crumbilng and waisting away,
Becoming a shell of what I once was,
Wishing I could be who I once was,
Someone with a smile on my face,
Someone who wasn't trying to win a race
Against time to serve the fastest here
And be the best and most helpful here,
To make the most money here
As we live paycheck to paycheck,
I feel like I'm living in heck,
Heck, I'll call it what it is...Hell on earth,
And I can't seem to prove my worth
No matter how hard I try,
And boy do I try,
I do good, even great,
But then I mess up again, filling me with hate,
And a sadness for myself,
A sadness about myself.
I will make it, begrudgingly,
I will make it, reassuringly,
I will make it, but just slightly,
I won't be all here,
But my body will be here.
I will get done what needs to get done,
But when all is said and done,
I'll go home, lay out my stuff for tomorrow,
So I have less to do tomorrow,
When I'm off until Tuesday,
How crazy it has been this day,
I'll soak in a hot bath for my muscles, sore,
Take a gummy once more,
Get zooted, watch YouTube until I pass out in bed,
And finally get to rest my weary head.


....What a way to spend a birthday, huh?