Militat Omnis Amans (Love as Warfare)

I can’t help but wonder what it would be like    
to tie you down and beat you bloody    
to release my every emotion into your body    
with bruises and breaks branding the story    
of my pain into you like macabre art    
while I sing an off-key ode to the fallacy of love    
each splatter of blood colouring the walls    
a remembrance to every “I love you”    
that was uttered from your beautiful    
traitorous lips, lies hidden in the sadness    
of your eyes, like oceans of a forgotten forever.    
   
Rage, the venom coursing through my veins    
keeping me alive, and here, possessed by you    
as you crawl beneath my skin, leaving me infected    
and searching for a cure in violent fascinations    
to shed you from inside me, like the parasite    
I wish you were, though you’ve always been an angel    
shrouded by darkness and secrets. Beautiful, alluring    
secrets, that I just wanted to reach out and touch    
if only for a moment, so that I might taste    
with my fingers, the broken perfection of your mind    
and the soul you refused to show me, out of cowardice.    
   
Take the pretty words and shred them to nothing    
take everything I am, and shred me to nothing    
so that I might find some peace here amongst    
the imaginary pieces of you, debris of a lover scorned.    
And I’ve never been so inclined to torture, then now    
discarded like the trash I always feared I was, while    
you said I wasn’t.  And I can remember everything    
treasured like snowflakes frozen in glass, though    
upon closer inspection, they are no more than insects    
encased in sun-bleached amber, still screaming    
their last death. So follow me one more time, my love    
   
And I promise to remember your screams, as I beat you    
like a demon possessed by obsession in the vein of love.    
Remember when we said forever? I’ll hold you to your promises    
and you’ll be mine forever, in love and hate and unspoken secrets    
because if I can’t have you, no one can.     
   
© Indie Adams 2012