God is the only one to judge

Voices in my head,  
Say that I’m better off dead.  
 
But I’m too scared to die.  
I don’t want to say goodbye.  
 
I just dont want to hurt.  
Anymore.  
 
I want to be seen by the people I love.  
I want to be enough.  
 
But I’m not.  
Not for them.  
 
I want to take this painful experience and allow it to create something beautiful.  
I know in my heart that my worth is provable.  
 
But not for them.  
 
For me.  
 
I know I can be a better version of myself.  
Life isn’t a book shelf.  
The only one who can judge is God himself.  
 
I don’t need the weight of the world on my shoulders.  
The weight of judgment feels like boulders.  
 
I’m exhausted.  
I had happiness at some point but I lost it.  
Along with the concept of it.  
 
What is happiness?  
I’m not sure what it is.  
 
I know what love is supposed be,  
but thats not what seems to find me.  
 
It is kindness.  
Why is it so hard to find this?  
 
The world is so backwards.  
Slowly morphing into modern technology attempting to guess each other’s passwords.  
 
Just to expose each other’s darkness to the world.  
 
Never taking the time to empathize with the pain.  
Rather point fingers than share any of the blame.  
 
We are all humans.  
We all have our demons.  
 
Our reasons,  
for falling apart and feeling alone.  
Desperate souls searching for a place to call home.  
 
People need people.  
 
We need each other in order to survive.  
We were born to fight.  
Not to over power others because it feels right.  
 
We’re born to love.  
We are all enough.  
 
We’re all the same species.  
Same bodies.  
 
Same hearts that beat within.
 
“I plead the fifth.  
I am a hypocrite.”  
 
But It has allowed me to see a side of the world that no one talks about.  
The side of the world where the demons shout.  
 
Whatever they may be.  
You have demons just like me.  
 
And that is okay.  
We all hurt in some way.  
 
But it’s stigmatized that it is shameful.  
 
I promise it’s not!  
 
It is painful.  
 
Yet beautiful.  
 
The growth from the trauma is something to be proud of.  
Just the mere fact that you survived is more than enough!