A longing to be loved

Mom is beautiful.
And dad is strong.
I know that痴 where I get it from.

But, I don稚 want to be them.
Wearing scars on my wrist like break crumbs.
They never even noticed them.

Refused to acknowledge that I was broken.
Always happy is what they池e hoping for.
But people are made for more.

I don稚 wanna loose them.
But they don稚 want me when I知 numb.
They don稚 love the person that I致e become.

They池e apart of me, whether they like it or not.
Who I am was developed by what I was taught.

They expect the pain to dissipate.
They don稚 have patience and they don稚 want to wait,
around for things to get better.

Meanwhile I was writing a suicide letter.

Weighed down by they池e disappointment.
Feeling like I知 just not worth it.
I shouldn稚 have to prove it.

They should just love me as much when I知 broken,
as they do when I知 fine.
I値l always be apart of them,
but I fear they池e no longer mine.

They池e alive and well.
And it feels like hell,
 that they池e not in my life.


I want to move on and let things go.
But they池e never around when I知 feeing low.

Ive got their blood running through my veins.
Yet some how I知 the only one to blame,
for all of my scars and all of my pain.
And then they wonder why I知 so ashamed.

This is why.
They avoid me when I cry.

If I point out their flaws they deny, it.
The thing is I know I知 not perfect.
They just don稚 know that I知 worth it.

I just want them to love me for every piece of me.
Even if its broken.
Even if I seem hopeless.

It痴 time to make a decision.
God this feels worse than long division.

But theres not class for this.
It痴 a hit or miss.

They didn稚 teach me how to love myself when people I love don稚.
They didn稚 teach me how to care about people when they won稚.

They didn稚 teach me how to be alone.

I was forced to grow up, too soon.
It wasn稚 something I wanted to choose.

It really didn稚 matter either way.
I had a voice, but I had no say.

It痴 still tough to wake up,
and know I知 not enough,
for them.

And even harder to accept that they might not be enough for me.
Written by TrueLover (Meganne)
Author's Note
This is a personal battle and I know we all have our own battles, and I知 not pointing fingers or placing all the blame. Im just expressing what It feels like.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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